buttonsarentoys
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"Want some soup?" "No, I can't eat legumes. Do you have any sugar? Ooo, can I have a coke?" -@
4:54 PM May 24th
via Twitter for iPhone
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I don't want to pay my library fine. I think I'll just move to a new city.
12:43 PM May 21st
via Twitter for iPhone
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It is one of the great tragedies of life that an onion will last for weeks in the fridge while a strawberry lasts merely days.
7:46 AM May 21st
via web
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If I had a dollar for every time I'd broken my toe, I'd probably have enough money to fix my currently broken toe.
7:26 AM May 21st
via web
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Me: "Will, stop screaming. Ari is not kicking you, you are repeatedly slamming your face into her foot."
9:12 AM May 15th
via web
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Tea party with @ complete with veggie crumpets and invisible toasts.
1:55 PM May 13th
via Subsplash
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Ari: "Running squirrel! I want to touch you!" Squirrel: *runs away as fast as possible* Ari: "I don't think squirrels have ears."
8:44 AM May 12th
via Twitter for iPhone
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"I've been going to the gym a lot lately...*pause*...and just sitting there." -@
10:55 AM May 11th
via Tweetbot for iOS
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@ HAHAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAA I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!!
10:56 AM May 11th
via txt
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I'm headed to Target, I said. I'll be right back, I said. I'm only getting like three things, I said.
7:38 PM May 7th
via Twitter for iPhone
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I just almost got in a wreck because I had to sneeze and I poked myself in the eye with my Kleenex. Only me.
6:36 PM May 7th
via Twitter for iPhone
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Haven't been in a Wal-Mart in a while. It smells oddly familiar. Like urine and broken dreams.
4:27 PM Apr 25th
via Twitter for iPhone
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What do you MEAN the dishwasher isn't yet full but there are no dirty dishes remaining?! What is this sorcery?!
2:33 PM Apr 21st
via Twitter for iPhone
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@ ...and then tweeting about it.
2:17 PM Apr 21st
via txt
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How I feel walking outside for the first time in 2 days after holing myself to study nonstop for my Chemistry midterm.
5:48 PM Apr 15th
via Twitter for iPhone
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So @ is holding a free concert the night of my Chemistry midterm. Considering dropping out of college...
2:35 PM Apr 14th
via Twitter for iPhone
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@ "Ugh, could the help be any more annoying?!"
11:39 AM Apr 14th
via txt
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What I said: "Sure, sweetie. I'll get you a glass of milk in just a second." What they heard: "NO! You may never drink milk again! MWAHAHA!"
3:05 PM Apr 10th
via web
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Why I can't get any rest: Ari is constantly waking me up to ask things like, "Mommy, can I glue these to my head?"
1:18 PM Apr 10th
via Twitter for iPhone
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Dyed eggs. Made brownies. Watched my dad slice off part of his finger and wash it down the drain declaring he hates all them fancy doctors.
8:30 PM Apr 7th
via Twitter for iPhone
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- Name Amber Butler
- Location Dallasish
- Web http://www.button...
- Bio Wife to Prince Charming, mom to a monkey and a blueberry, wish Riven were real. Alternate personalities are @freggheads and @smartappkids
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