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burwell

  1. http://twitpic.com/qsydr - Danish subtitles are funny
  2. I've watched Speed Racer 5 times in the past week. I'm trying to figure out how to modify my 1990 volvo 240 to perform like the Mach 5.
  3. "Time to reflect" is my code for "Dude, I was feeling lazy".
  4. One day I want to have the audacity to go into the pharmacy and say "I'll have what he's having".
  5. Reason's why Marijuana needs to be legalized: So I don't get charged with possession.
  6. When I was a kid I thought the North Pole was in China, because that's where all my toys were from.
  7. Sarah McLachlan should make another PSA that says "DON'T BE A TERRIBLE PET OWNER! IT'S EASY!"
  8. I would love to see Sarah McLachlan and Michael Vick fight. I mean, I know Michael Vick would win, but that doesn't mean I'm disappointed.
  9. I love it when I'm about to watch a funny show on TV, and then Sarah McLachlan and some sad eyed dogs pop up on the screen. COME ON!
  10. If I was a gangsta, I'd want my gangsta name to be "Crunch". So then if I ever got shot, the witnesses could say "they were 'Cap'n Crunch!'"
  11. My fingers could use some bugles.
  12. When times are bringing me down I like to bring out the old guitar. Then I remember I never learned to play the guitar, and I put it back.
  13. I wonder if aliens wrap their burritos in the stuff we discovered in Roswell. Get it? The stuff we found looked like aluminum foil.
  14. Oh my god the guy in front of me at the wawa is so stoned, his eyes are so red they might as well be bleeding. And he's buying a dozen eggs.
  15. Sorry dude, but I'm not gonna listen to what you think is cool while you wear those womens sunglasses, which you just said were cool.
  16. Sunday is supposed to be the day of rest, but when else am I to do all the work I put off on the other days?
  17. I'm never worried about my chances in a fight. I used to do the tae-bo workouts.
  18. It would suck for there to be a carbon monoxide leak in my car. I'm just saying.
  19. I always say "I'll never go to McDonalds again," when I bite into something hard in the burger patty. Yet here I am, en route to McDonalds.
  20. I thought that when I bought these fake glasses, some super powers came along with them. I'm so disappointed.