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Canada
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United Kingdom
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Indonesia
  • 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel
Ireland
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India
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Jordan
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New Zealand
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United States
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bscottomalley

  1. Great idea for new TV show: tough but sexy female cop. You're welcome.
  2. @King_Gonad I killed my cable, so you're my news! We're all counting on you, Ted Striker.
  3. Q: How many filmmakers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to say filmmaking is like war and the other to put on moisturizer.
  4. #FF Uber-mensch @steveJames_Igor progressive assassin @King_Gonad and the man they called Diaper Boy @RollingJustice
  5. Are you a shitty friend? Read the Friend Commandments: omalley71.com/misc/the-frien…
  6. Trying on new girlpants today so my new ironic beard doesn't get lonely.
  7. @sdarancette I love Motown!
  8. @sdarancette For that, they charge a $39 appointment fee, and it takes 5 appointments.
  9. @sdarancette Yes, but for each free refill, you have to pay 75 cents.
  10. If Time Warner Cable sold coffee, they'd charge you for lids and the coffee would contain shitty shows about horders.
  11. @smbier Will you explain?
  12. Q: What do college girls and Time Warner Cable have in common? A: They go down on you for no reason.
  13. Stoked! Sent some thank-you brownies to Time Warner Cable and they only charged me $39 for the brownies and a small regulatory fee.
  14. Two guys just came to my door, asking me to come to their church. I think Del Taco should do something like this.
  15. Guy at Starbucks: Cute dog. What kind is he? Me: Bionic.
  16. @Caroline_Pierce I didn't know you suffered from laser hair!
  17. You know what's funny? R2-D2 or Chewbacca or a Stormtrooper on a shirt, saying something ironic.
  18. Just paid $1.10 for a $1.09 newspaper, and let the guy keep the change. Feelin' pretty good about myself.
  19. @sdarancette Now that's an awesome social network!
  20. @sdarancette WE ARE THE 25%!!!!!