bscottomalley
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Great idea for new TV show: tough but sexy female cop. You're welcome.
about 9 hours ago
via Twitter for iPhone
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@ I killed my cable, so you're my news! We're all counting on you, Ted Striker.
8:48 AM Jun 1st
via web
in reply to King_Gonad
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Q: How many filmmakers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to say filmmaking is like war and the other to put on moisturizer.
8:45 AM Jun 1st
via web
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Uber-mensch @ progressive assassin @ and the man they called Diaper Boy @
8:12 AM Jun 1st
via web
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Are you a shitty friend? Read the Friend Commandments:
10:03 AM May 31st
via web
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Trying on new girlpants today so my new ironic beard doesn't get lonely.
6:22 PM May 30th
via web
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@ I love Motown!
8:36 AM May 30th
via web
in reply to sdarancette
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@ For that, they charge a $39 appointment fee, and it takes 5 appointments.
8:36 AM May 30th
via web
in reply to sdarancette
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@ Yes, but for each free refill, you have to pay 75 cents.
8:34 AM May 30th
via web
in reply to sdarancette
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If Time Warner Cable sold coffee, they'd charge you for lids and the coffee would contain shitty shows about horders.
8:29 AM May 30th
via web
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@ Will you explain?
8:18 AM May 30th
via web
in reply to smbier
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Q: What do college girls and Time Warner Cable have in common? A: They go down on you for no reason.
2:36 PM May 29th
via web
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Stoked! Sent some thank-you brownies to Time Warner Cable and they only charged me $39 for the brownies and a small regulatory fee.
8:40 AM May 29th
via web
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Two guys just came to my door, asking me to come to their church. I think Del Taco should do something like this.
8:36 AM May 27th
via web
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Guy at Starbucks: Cute dog. What kind is he? Me: Bionic.
10:48 AM May 25th
via Twitter for iPhone
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@ I didn't know you suffered from laser hair!
2:56 PM May 24th
via web
in reply to Caroline_Pierce
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You know what's funny? R2-D2 or Chewbacca or a Stormtrooper on a shirt, saying something ironic.
2:53 PM May 24th
via web
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Just paid $1.10 for a $1.09 newspaper, and let the guy keep the change. Feelin' pretty good about myself.
10:39 AM May 24th
via web
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@ Now that's an awesome social network!
10:25 AM May 24th
via web
in reply to sdarancette
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@ WE ARE THE 25%!!!!!
9:51 PM May 21st
via web
in reply to sdarancette
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- Name B. O'Malley™
- Location LA (or Your Mom's House)
- Web http://omalley71.com
- Bio Writer-Director | Guitarist for Igor Spectre | Owner of Del Taco | b@omalley71.com
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