bryancallen
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Would love to be a pro football player but only if the game were played in slow motion highlights.
5:18 PM Nov 26th
from Echofon
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Thanksgiving: a time for stuffing turkey ham and yams, pumpkin pie booze and family. Me, I ate a duck and some fuckin pees - alone.
5:15 PM Nov 26th
from Echofon
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The truth: all of us know at least ONE person who if killed would illicit nothing more than a shrug MAYBE even a smile.
6:43 PM Nov 24th
from Echofon
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We sympathize wth people who treat their tragedy as tho it were an inconvenience. We shun those who treat it like its a catastrophy.
6:42 PM Nov 24th
from Echofon
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The truth: A woman shld master her gag reflex, cooking and flexibility. If she does this she'll be given anything she wants.
6:40 PM Nov 24th
from Echofon
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Everything is cuter when its sleeeepy. Except pilots and surgeons of course.
6:37 PM Nov 24th
from Echofon
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A man should never wiggle any part of his body because its impossible to make wiggling masculine unless of course u just finished pissing.
6:36 PM Nov 24th
from Echofon
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My friend is always obsessing about her weight. I told her just to find a guy who likes fat chicks. Problem solved.
6:33 PM Nov 24th
from Echofon
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One pick up technique I use is to run my palms all over my torso and then I ask the girl whos watching if shes jealous of my hands.
12:44 AM Nov 19th
from Echofon
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Im doing a play playing a huuuuge movie star from England. Its at the skylight theater friday sat sunday. COME!!!!
12:43 AM Nov 19th
from Echofon
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I've tkn to wring a hair shirt and a bee girdle. (girdle of bees n honey) every step I take is filled with prickly danger!
12:40 AM Nov 19th
from Echofon
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So came down with the swine flu. I was playing in this pig pen with open sores. Soo stupid. Although I got it from flying. Ironic huh?
12:35 AM Nov 19th
from Echofon
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Ive recently incorporated the hula into my work out routine. Really sauces up my core and gets my baby bird up n outta the nest! Halleujia!
3:38 PM Nov 10th
from Echofon
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So came down with the swine flu. I was playing in this pig pen with open sores. Soo stupid. Although I got it from flying. Ironic huh?
3:35 PM Nov 10th
from Echofon
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@ I expect to see u over Thanksgiving so I can teach u the ancient art of " fuckin"
9:05 PM Nov 6th
from Echofon
in reply to NathanMarquardt
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Say, is it me or are these Taliban guys just explosive happy douche bags? Well (sigh) looks like I gotta suit up n clean house - AGAIN!
10:30 AM Oct 29th
from Echofon
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@ this is moi my friend the fella whos b day falls a day away from urs the one who u bought forrest pepple cd for! In 96
10:17 AM Oct 29th
from Echofon
in reply to phillamarr
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@ my friend! How do??
10:15 AM Oct 29th
from Echofon
in reply to phillamarr
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@ i will write a book as soon as I figure out what to write about. Ive read bukowski n kerouac
12:13 PM Oct 23rd
from Echofon
in reply to funlaughangel
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@ thanks for the love darlin saw u in a movie recently excellent as always
12:09 PM Oct 23rd
from Echofon
in reply to MeredthSalenger
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- Name Bryan Callen
- Location Los Angeles
- Web http://www.bryanc...
- Bio Have you ever taken down a cow? If no, Then I have nothing in common with you.
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