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brucepatman

  1. Hey, @RogerBPatman, let's not get too friendly. But seeing you insult another guy's manhood did bring a tear to my eye. about 7 hours ago from web
  2. I'm so proud of @RogerBPatman. His latest insult to @JeffreySVH, while not insulting enough, is still a step in the right direction. about 18 hours ago from web
  3. We're going to kill someone again? Sweet! 11:40 AM Nov 20th from web
  4. It depends, @Ronnie_Edwards. Did I cheat on the deceased? If so, put me down for $5K on cocaine. 2:02 PM Nov 19th from web
  5. If @Andrea_Slade wants me to notice her, all she has to do is wax my Porsche in nothing but a string bikini. And by Porsche, I mean penis. 7:11 PM Nov 18th from web
  6. Tip #2: Driving a hot car attracts shallow women who are just ripe for the picking. (And remember, date rape in a shitty car is just rape.) 2:38 PM Nov 16th from web
  7. @LilaFowler: I predict you'll change your mind about my making out skills. Like maybe sometime in college. 2:36 PM Nov 16th from web in reply to LilaFowler
  8. RT @TeacherCollins: #theresway2many male students at Sweet Valley High. Time to thin the herd. 2:31 PM Nov 16th from web
  9. If you weren't lucky enough to be born into wealth, gambling on high school soccer is surprisingly lucrative. 10:46 AM Nov 15th from web
  10. Tip #1: Be incredibly rich. The authorities are much more forgiving of date rape when you can bribe them. 10:45 AM Nov 15th from web
  11. Yeah, @Ronnie_Edwards, I have much to teach you. Don't listen to @johnpfeifernews — he couldn't even close the deal with @LilaFowler. 10:39 AM Nov 15th from web
  12. Where do I start with my many, many suggestions for #arealwife? So much misogyny, only 140 characters for me to fit it in. 12:38 PM Nov 13th from web
  13. @Mazokunomiko: Until you get rid of the glasses, I wouldn't fuck you with @WinstonEgbert's dick. Oh, who am I kidding, I totally would. 12:34 PM Nov 13th from web in reply to Mazokunomiko
  14. #youknowyouruglyif I've never given you a red wine and roofie cocktail. 9:25 AM Nov 13th from web
  15. #celebrityperfumes: "Nouveau Riche" by @LilaFowler. Smells like backstabbing bitch, @JohnPfeifernews jizz and desperation. 2:13 PM Nov 11th from web
  16. Servants cleaned up the blood in the pool and re-landscaped front lawn. Now we can all forget this Christian guy ever existed. 12:04 PM Nov 9th from web
  17. @LitConnection: Don't tell anyone, but yes. 8:26 PM Nov 7th from web in reply to LitConnection
  18. Life on the inside is rough. Just got roofied by one of Sweet Valley's burliest inmates. 1:16 PM Nov 6th from Tweetie
  19. Guys, when we're fighting those assholes from Palisades, try to remember not to get blood all over my rape warehouse. 1:21 AM Nov 6th from web
  20. Jean jackets are #realgangstashit 6:27 PM Nov 4th from web