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BroadcastAsylum

  1. Kids are so much harder to own than plants! :))
  2. So many people would be single right now if relationships had "Safe Unsubscribe." :))
  3. 24 year old Juliette Valduriez ... she makes it look easy!!! youtube.com/watch?v=vv066N…
  4. The "Who To Follow" function on twitter reminds me of my mom setting me up on play dates when I was 5.
  5. If your friends living room has more drug paraphernalia than furniture than at least buy them an Ikea bong or some kinda hookah chandelier.
  6. I'm a little worried...my son thinks it's his fault his father & I are divorced. That's crazy...clearly it's his sister's fault!!! :))
  7. Vampires....that's it! Someone should do a show or movie about vampires....whatcha think?!? :))
  8. Here's an idea to help the hungry...Olive Garden has "unlimited breadsticks" for like five bucks. Your move, Oprah!!!
  9. Whenever someone tells me they are a "DJ" I always say: “Yeah, I have an iPhone too!”
  10. Say what you want, but I still say Listerine freshens your breath better way than Scope. It gets you drunk faster too!!! :))
  11. Chicago's naming a street after Oprah. Cops can now say "YOU'RE getting a ticket! & YOU'RE getting a ticket! Everyone's getting a ticket!"
  12. If you get a tattoo on your face you can pretty much guarantee you are no longer anyone's "emergency contact!"
  13. Ughhhh...just spilled an entire glass of water on myself! LOL...it's the saddest wet t-shirt contest ever. Good news though...I won!!! :))
  14. @BA_Jade Anyone know where I can find some news coverage of the Royal Wedding? :)) XoXo
  15. Just got back from Costco. So...if anyone needs to borrow toilet paper like... forever...hit me up!! :)
  16. Go #BlackHawks !
  17. Wishing everyone a Happy & Blessed Easter!
  18. Still rainy and cold in Chicago...I'm grumpier than a 3 yr old ballerina with a wedgie!
  19. Just picked up my laundry. Lots of underpants missing again. Think it might be time to have "the talk" with the dry cleaning people!
  20. Watchin' cartoons w the kids. Let me get this straight...Shaggy is scared $hitless of a white bed sheet but he's cool with a dog that talks?