BrianGlidewell
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"Izzo (H.O.V.A.)" instantly becomes a worse song when you realize H.O.V.A. stands for "Hooray, Our Vampire-centric-erotic-fiction Arrived!"
about 21 hours ago
via web
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@ And "put a zaftig woman on it" was the "put a bird on it" of the 17th century.
2:49 PM May 24th
via web
in reply to jessicastickles
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Umm @ we don't need to see your fake parents' tits and dick.
7:45 PM May 21st
via web
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Hakuna Matitties
9:12 AM May 21st
via web
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I feel like Baz Luhrmann's The Great Gatsby is going to be almost TOO respectful of the source material.
4:58 AM May 20th
via web
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"Come at me, bro!" -Rockaway Beach birds
4:19 PM May 19th
via Instagram
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Beyonce wants a jetski
9:02 PM May 18th
via Twitter for Android
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Girls is shooting on my block again. Tempted to tip over craft services, yell "GIRLS BACKLASH!" and run away.
12:53 PM May 17th
via Twitter for Android
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You can never predict which white people will actually say the n-word when singing along to a rap song. It's always a surprise.
1:54 PM May 16th
via web
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The hardest part of telling your parents you're gay is rollerblading.
9:09 AM May 15th
via web
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One thing is for sure: Liam Neeson likes money.
1:05 PM May 13th
via web
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Hey @ feel free to steal my idea for a sequel to Bully. Bully 2: Cyberbully. Same game, except much more like Lawnmower Man.
11:17 AM May 11th
via web
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Good tattoo idea: a heart with a blank scroll. Then before all second dates, as a fun prank write your date's name on it in marker.
10:17 AM May 11th
via web
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Somewhere, Chumbawamba just entered a rehearsal studio, gave a collective heavy sigh, and launched into a dubstep version of "Tubthumping."
6:18 AM May 5th
via web
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Do you think there's erotic fan fiction where Mrs. McCallister has sex with the Kenosha Kickers in the back of that van? Answer: probably.
11:20 AM May 4th
via web
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Guy waiting in a car, playing a cowbell
4:43 PM May 3rd
via Instagram
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@ because he once convinced me that he had been in the cast of Kids Incorporated. I believed him for a year.
12:39 PM Apr 27th
via web
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How on Earth was the Method Man/Redman vehicle "How High" not called "Higher Education?" A rare miss, Hollywood.
12:04 PM Apr 24th
via web
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My good friend, Mr. Smiley Beer.
4:52 PM Apr 20th
via Instagram
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On my bucket list: go in stall next to occupied bathroom stall. Make really loud fake fart noises. Yell "THAT'S YOU!" Exit.
2:33 PM Apr 19th
via Twitter for Android
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- Name Brian Glidewell
- Location Brooklyn Go Hard, NY
- Web http://www.briang...
- Bio Comedian/Writer/Improviser at UCB NY, inventor of gummy vitamins for adults
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