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brentwit

My brother put on his Xmas list: "Scotch glasses – for my office" and meant it. I told him he must be doing something right. about 6 hours ago from Ping.fm
#followmonday @sween Wife: "Can you plug this in for me? I don't want to bend over. It's beneath me." 4:29 AM Nov 30th from Tweetie
@stupidweeb It is vegan time tonight. 6:29 PM Nov 29th from Tweetie in reply to stupidweeb
This beat is not a banana or several bananas. This is my heartbeat. This beat is a plum. 6:28 PM Nov 29th from Tweetie
if Asians love kareoke, and Germans love David Hasselhoff, do German Asians love to kareoke Hasselhoff? 9:53 PM Nov 27th from Tweetie
@karataylorr it is lame. in a good way. 9:52 PM Nov 27th from Tweetie in reply to karataylorr
My life would suck without you singing Kelly Clarkson off-key, Chicago. No amount of expensive beer makes this okay. #louispub 9:48 PM Nov 27th from Tweetie
I’m thinking: We are all born w/ different strengths. But it’s our values that define us. http://tumblr.com/x8b4axjaa 7:27 PM Nov 27th from Tumblr
What's classier than wearing a black tuxedo? Wearing two black tuxedos, of course! 9:16 AM Nov 26th from Tweetie
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/24/the-side-hug-youth-group_n_369651.html Christian Side Hugs for everyone! + No mouth hugs allowed. 5:24 PM Nov 25th from Twitterrific
The histrionics are goddamn taking over! Everyone panic! Did you just smudge my shoe?! Look how non-histrionic I happen to be! Everyone! 7:11 AM Nov 25th from Tweetie
Step 1: practice daily loving kindness meditation Step 2: put your junk in the box Step 3: ...? Profit! 7:48 PM Nov 24th from Tweetie
Blood/Cheese, the Unicorn Afterbirth cd release party is tonight. 7:54 PM Nov 21st from Tweetie
Port O'Brien I Woke Up Today - wait for the shark! http://is.gd/50oJe 7:31 AM Nov 21st from TwitterBar
Venn diagram. What do Dracula, Frankenstein and Zombies have in common? Now throw in Jesus http://tumblr.com/x8b45qhb1 8:04 PM Nov 20th from Tumblr
It's that time of the male month (I checked my google calendar). It's now the male version of chocolate or 2 more days of headaches. 8:01 PM Nov 20th from Tweetie
@vaderglow stupid mormon-vampire movies' ruinin America. 10:34 AM Nov 20th from Tweetie in reply to vaderglow
My socks have bn contaminated in the dryer by a roommate's carelessly disgarded panties. This isnt the America I want to dry my clothed in. 4:56 AM Nov 18th from Tweetie
Photo: In Chicago, buildings are built to look like water.... http://tumblr.com/x8b43h9cc 3:33 PM Nov 17th from Tumblr
All I wanna do is eat some soup soup soup, and a boom boom! Just eat some soup. 7:34 PM Nov 16th from TwitterBar