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brentwit

  1. My brother put on his Xmas list: "Scotch glasses – for my office" and meant it. I told him he must be doing something right.
  2. #followmonday @sween Wife: "Can you plug this in for me? I don't want to bend over. It's beneath me."
  3. @stupidweeb It is vegan time tonight.
  4. This beat is not a banana or several bananas. This is my heartbeat. This beat is a plum.
  5. if Asians love kareoke, and Germans love David Hasselhoff, do German Asians love to kareoke Hasselhoff?
  6. @karataylorr it is lame. in a good way.
  7. My life would suck without you singing Kelly Clarkson off-key, Chicago. No amount of expensive beer makes this okay. #louispub
  8. I’m thinking: We are all born w/ different strengths. But it’s our values that define us. http://tumblr.com/x8b4axjaa
  9. What's classier than wearing a black tuxedo? Wearing two black tuxedos, of course!
  10. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/24/the-side-hug-youth-group_n_369651.html Christian Side Hugs for everyone! + No mouth hugs allowed.
  11. The histrionics are goddamn taking over! Everyone panic! Did you just smudge my shoe?! Look how non-histrionic I happen to be! Everyone!
  12. Step 1: practice daily loving kindness meditation Step 2: put your junk in the box Step 3: ...? Profit!
  13. Blood/Cheese, the Unicorn Afterbirth cd release party is tonight.
  14. Port O'Brien I Woke Up Today - wait for the shark! http://is.gd/50oJe
  15. Venn diagram. What do Dracula, Frankenstein and Zombies have in common? Now throw in Jesus http://tumblr.com/x8b45qhb1
  16. It's that time of the male month (I checked my google calendar). It's now the male version of chocolate or 2 more days of headaches.
  17. @vaderglow stupid mormon-vampire movies' ruinin America.
  18. My socks have bn contaminated in the dryer by a roommate's carelessly disgarded panties. This isnt the America I want to dry my clothed in.
  19. Photo: In Chicago, buildings are built to look like water.... http://tumblr.com/x8b43h9cc
  20. All I wanna do is eat some soup soup soup, and a boom boom! Just eat some soup.