Get short, timely messages from Brando.

Twitter is a rich source of instantly updated information. It's easy to stay updated on an incredibly wide variety of topics. Join today and follow @brandoheath.

Get updates via SMS by texting follow brandoheath to 40404 in the United States
Codes for other countries

Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:
Country Code For customers of
Australia
  • 0198089488 Telstra
Canada
  • 21212 (any)
United Kingdom
  • 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
Indonesia
  • 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel
Ireland
  • 51210 O2
India
  • 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon
Jordan
  • 90903 Zain
New Zealand
  • 8987 Vodafone, Telecom NZ
United States
  • 40404 (any)

brandoheath

  1. The Four Horses are tired let them rest for a while. Their frothy moths and frothy hides show me a promise of fate that subsides. 11:28 PM May 29th via Twitter for iPhone
  2. There should be adult-sized parks with slides and swings and castles. 11:29 PM May 25th via Twitter for iPhone
  3. I have a new beautiful mother @NotTildaSwinton #Tildren 10:21 PM May 23rd via Twitter for iPhone
  4. I just drowned a herd of animal crackers (two boxes) in milk and ate them like a cereal god. 11:54 PM May 22nd via Twitter for iPhone
  5. If I was a midget I'd buy a mannequin and perform a reverse ventriloquist act in clown suits for old people. 6:10 PM May 22nd via Twitter for iPhone
  6. LL Cool J should do an underwear line by LL Bean called 'LL's Cool Beans'. 5:59 PM May 22nd via Twitter for iPhone
  7. I think we're super-humans acting like sub-humans. 11:55 PM May 21st via Twitter for iPhone
  8. A lot of people went blind today. 9:02 PM May 20th via Twitter for iPhone
  9. Ran out of almond milk for my cereal so I used the extra margarita mix from cinco! 9:51 AM May 9th via Twitter for iPhone
  10. I want a bald cat so I can stroke that shit when I'm feeling particularly villainous. 1:45 AM May 2nd via Twitter for iPhone
  11. If you are scared your neighbors are drug dealers try changing your wifi's name to 'FBI VAN 2'. 10:01 PM May 1st via Twitter for iPhone
  12. I wish words had taste so people would say tasty things to each other. 9:09 PM Apr 30th via Twitter for iPhone
  13. There's a gaping hole where "I shouldn't hurt mean people." formerly chilled. 12:06 AM Apr 28th via Twitter for iPhone
  14. I like Fridays because it allows me to prove I'm a hermit. 9:25 PM Apr 27th via Twitter for iPhone
  15. Painting and Portishead. 11:14 AM Apr 26th via Twitter for iPhone
  16. If humans were asexual I don't know how anything would get sold. 11:35 PM Apr 25th via Twitter for iPhone
  17. I'd you don't impress yourself from time to time you probably aren't going to impress others. 11:15 PM Apr 25th via Twitter for iPhone
  18. I've recently been introduced to the 'What do you mean?' game and I really enjoy telemarketing calls now. 5:39 PM Apr 25th via Twitter for iPhone
  19. If you need a magazine to tell you how to live you're doing it wrong. 1:10 AM Apr 24th via Twitter for iPhone
  20. Please do not feed the stoners Doritos... They will shit on your car. 4:28 PM Apr 20th via Twitter for iPhone