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brandius

  1. @jerrigirl I love you. And miss you. Mainly the miss you part.
  2. @713punky it's just easier when she's not yelling at me
  3. @JRCohen JR is ... http://twitpic.com/9umap #FactsAboutJR
  4. @JRCohen wears sunglasses 24/7. This is to protect the sun and moon from his eyes. #FactsAboutJR
  5. @JRCohen winked at Angelina Jolie, which then caused hurricane Katrina. #FactsAboutJR
  6. @JRCohen decides when it rains in Texas. #FactsAboutJR
  7. JR is Jesus Christ's real father. #FactsAboutJR
  8. @tornacl I SEE ALL.
  9. @RegBurns You are the most hateful person on Twitter.
  10. At the Astros game. For real this time. I'm already being belligerent and talking about kitten.
  11. Just cut off my best friends mother in traffic. I'm awesome.
  12. @whoisray If it were truly powerful, I would be able to feel it from here. #iknowbeards
  13. July 24th is the best day this year.
  14. @TheRafaela If you see a unicorn, it heals you. If you touch one, it kills you. If you party with one, youll puke marshmallow and rainbows.
  15. Fun part of @dstagg's bubble-wrapped office is when he wheels around, a symphony of pops is heard. Its great when he is trying to be serious
  16. @brienis WoW can suck it. I'd rather play FF online.
  17. @brienis HALO. The couple that slays together, stays together. Unless the girlfriend accidentally sticks you and you blow up. Repeatidly.
  18. @jeffbalke What was that? You're in love with me? Aw, that's just cute. Of course you can buy me gifts/drinks/food/ponies.
  19. @RegBurns People don't like you. WHAT NOW SUCKA.
  20. @urbanhoustonian BOONDOCKS, Friday night. I hear that you love that place. Lots of fine hipster chicks to hit on.