bradallan
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Nothing sends a cold shiver up my spine like sitting on a warm toilet seat.
6:25 AM Dec 2nd
from Echofon
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The Saints soundly defeated the Patriots. I'm not happy about becoming a theocracy, but maybe now Leno will take off that stupid flag pin.
8:58 PM Nov 30th
from Echofon
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The USPS might end Saturday delivery to save money. Mail carriers are furious after hearing that their jobs involve Saturday delivery.
4:48 PM Nov 30th
from Echofon
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Why does the Swiss Army need such sophisticated knives, anyway?
10:28 AM Nov 30th
from Echofon
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Thursday's my first Thanksgiving as a vegetarian. Hopefully my smug sense of superiority will fill me up, because the food sure won't.
6:19 PM Nov 24th
from web
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Either I just coughed up part of my lung or I ate entirely too many red velvet cupcakes today. Neither reflects well on my health.
5:45 PM Nov 23rd
from Echofon
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The guy in the adjacent bathroom stall has blown air into his fist to warm his hand so many times he's either a professional QB or goddammit
10:58 AM Nov 23rd
from Echofon
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On the chessboard of the sea, the shark is king and shrimp are the prawns.
5:26 PM Nov 22nd
from web
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The unemployment rate among African-American men is 17%. Obviously Allen Iverson's entourage was even bigger than we all thought.
11:30 AM Nov 21st
from Echofon
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These guys playing basketball at the gym are so awful I'm actually considering watching Big Ten football instead.
11:14 AM Nov 21st
from Echofon
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Found a curly hair in my bag of almonds and dried fruit. I guess one man's trail mix is another man's happy trail.
5:45 PM Nov 20th
from Echofon
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Finally found a downside to these noise-cancelling headphones: I just farted at work and I have no idea how loud it was.
11:27 AM Nov 20th
from Echofon
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There's an X-Men joke to be made about Palin "Going Rogue" but I refuse to make it because it involves comparing Bobby Jindal to Gambit.
8:52 AM Nov 20th
from web
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Great news! I've been selected to edit the Best American Writing on undershirt-pit-stain-generation.
8:51 AM Nov 20th
from web
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If Ben Franklin had his way & the turkey became our national bird, we'd probably eat eagle for Thanksgiving. Truly a man ahead of his time.
12:41 PM Nov 15th
from Echofon
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Internet addicts--those slaves to connectedness--should really call it "serfing the web," no?
7:46 AM Nov 15th
from web
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Wise men say, Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for a late pizza.
10:17 AM Nov 14th
from Echofon
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Cord sweaters are fashionable, right? So why am I getting so many strange looks for wearing nothing but a coaxial cable around my neck?
6:31 AM Nov 13th
from Echofon
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The plumber didn't fix the leak, so I threw a banana cream treat in his face. Now he's the Pie'd Piper.
7:11 PM Nov 12th
from Echofon
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Now, I'm no mind-reader, but the way this guy is staring at the saleswoman undress a manikin doesn't leave much to the imagination.
1:53 PM Nov 12th
from Echofon
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- Name Brad
- Location The Hub of the Universe
- Bio I'm a winner
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