Get short, timely messages from Matthew Bortnick.

Twitter is a rich source of instantly updated information. It's easy to stay updated on an incredibly wide variety of topics. Join today and follow @bortnizzle.

Get updates via SMS by texting follow bortnizzle to 40404 in the United States
Codes for other countries

Country	Code	For customers of
Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:
Australia	0198089488 Telstra
Canada	21212 (any)
United Kingdom	86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
Indonesia	89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel
Ireland	51210 O2
India	53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon
Jordan	90903 Zain
New Zealand	8987 Vodafone, Telecom NZ
United States	40404 (any)

bortnizzle

norbuck My favorite kind of Friday night: at home. 29 minutes ago via Twitter for iPad Retweeted by bortnizzle and 31 others
nedroid Here's you twitter.com/nedroid/status… about 2 hours ago via web Retweeted by bortnizzle and 15 others
@nedroid GASP!!!! It's like you're looking right at me!!!!! about 2 hours ago via Twitter for Android in reply to nedroid
nedroid Ha ha here's you twitter.com/nedroid/status… about 2 hours ago via web Retweeted by bortnizzle and 17 others
IamEnidColeslaw Remember when shitting in a toilet actually impressed your parents? Those were the days. about 2 hours ago via Twitter for Android Retweeted by bortnizzle and 151 others
joeycomeau I know what you are thinking, and it is super gross. about 10 hours ago via TweetDeck Retweeted by bortnizzle and 23 others
nedroid Should I make a grilled cheese with a croissant #rhetoricalquestion #theanswerisyes about 11 hours ago via web Retweeted by bortnizzle and 13 others
"@TheOnion: American Voices: 'Fifty Shades Of Grey' Series Reaches 10 Million Sales onion.com/K4RQ2I #WhatDoYouThink?" @jordannnnicole about 11 hours ago via Twitter for Android
nedroid I'm Tim Taylor and you all know my assistant, Al "The Reaper of Worlds, He Who Will Dance in a Fog of Blood" Borland about 12 hours ago via web Retweeted by bortnizzle and 76 others
karatewaffles Batgirl, tonite is the nite u become a Batwoman. How old is Batgirl? Am I going to jail for saying this? about 12 hours ago via web Retweeted by bortnizzle and 1 other
BadIuckBrian Watches The Avengers in 3D. Gets punched by The Hulk. about 13 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone Retweeted by bortnizzle and 2627 others
rstevens We would all waste so much less time if humans didn't make so much culture everywhere. about 13 hours ago via Twitter for Mac Retweeted by bortnizzle and 5 others
rstevens I'm the Harry Potter of vampires about 13 hours ago via Twitter for Mac Retweeted by bortnizzle and 4 others
@jordannnnicole Wino Spice about 15 hours ago via Twitter for Android in reply to jordannnnicole
"@IamEnidColeslaw: Time to make sex. *opens closet, pulls out two crotchless beekeeper suits*" @nutmegan26 convinced this is yo other accnt about 23 hours ago via Twitter for Android
MLBFanCave 500th follower to RT gets @Nick_Offerman signed baseball. #MLBFC #RonSwanson yfrog.com/klh48mvj 6:30 PM May 24th via TweetDeck Retweeted by bortnizzle and 2025 others
"@rstevens: I propose we rename Jedis "Murder Buddhas"." @jordannnnicole 7:03 PM May 24th via Twitter for Android
@jordannnnicole i want you and your beautiful soul 5:23 PM May 24th via Twitter for Android in reply to jordannnnicole
TBSLines Well which would you prefer; my finger on the trigger or me face down, down across your floor? 1:49 PM May 24th via Twitter for iPhone Retweeted by bortnizzle and 13 others
MensHumor I wonder if I´ll ever be mature enough to use a stud finder without pointing it at myself and saying "there´s one." 2:30 PM May 24th via HootSuite Retweeted by bortnizzle and 3003 others