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Is there a photo of Steve McNair's girlfriend that explains how she scored an new Escalade? Everything on the net screams used Saturn.11:09 AM Jul 6thfrom web
Train conductor just pinched my bottle of vodka! Bottle was almost gone & backup bottle has just been cracked! Cram it Choo Choo Charlie!7:39 AM Jul 3rdfrom mobile web
Who's ready for an eye opener? I AM! First of the day is at 9:25.AM.. Fucking tasty!6:27 AM Jul 3rdfrom mobile web
Don't think your parents have any fight left in them? Try to get them to spend some money...4:51 PM Jul 1stfrom web
Michael Jackson: Your death has liberated us from hearing the "Charlie's Angels" theme all fucking day.4:05 AM Jun 26thfrom web
Current location: Mugging people outside the front door of the Apple store. I have 37 new iPhones and I did not have to wait in line.8:07 AM Jun 19thfrom web
Boss welcomes me to work by stating "The site's live and there are no complaints about what you wrote!" No one is angry? I fucked up.7:12 AM Jun 16thfrom web
Traveling @ 21 mph on the highway behind a Rush Messenger van. It looks like the slowdown is being caused by some heavy irony.5:31 AM Jun 9thfrom mobile web
Math Quiz:
Current hourly freelance rate($45) + Conference call(60 minutes) =
A)1.75 Liter of Stoli
B)1.75 Liter of Stoli
C)All Of The Above3:09 PM Jun 5thfrom web
If I ask you to shut up, I do not want an answer.1:50 PM May 29thfrom web
Co Worker: " The women that's flirting w/ you has a wedding ring on!" Me: "Yeah, I noticed it when she grabbed my balls."9:51 PM May 24thfrom mobile web
The kid finally catches a break and lands a writing job! Yes, the cubicle will have a full bar.2:41 PM May 20thfrom mobile web
A 6 year girl wearing a KISS "Destroyer" dress? I don't know who's the more dirty fucker, Gene Simmons or this tart's father.10:17 AM May 18thfrom web
The next time someone says Paula Abdul needs rehab mention that they need to move out of their parent’s basement.
http://bit.ly/K0xy11:30 PM May 14thfrom web