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boozecoma
A hug from a random stranger is all it takes to renew your faith in excessive drinking.10:23 PM Nov 13thfrom mobile web
The only thing creepier than having a little kid stand next you at a urinal? Having his dad stand behind you.3:29 PM Nov 7thfrom mobile web
Employers are so eager to start shoveling bullshit on you; they can’t wait until you actually begin working to do it. http://tiny.cc/qrQRW9:50 PM Oct 29thfrom web
Here is some irony- Pedro Martinez wearing a Phillies cap sporting the "2009 World Series" logo on it and a 1985 Jheri-curl under it.5:44 PM Oct 29thfrom web
The recession is over! It's now OK to spend money! Use it to buy plywood to board up your failed business. http://tiny.cc/cY6iS12:09 PM Oct 29thfrom web
Lipton berry flavored sparkling green tea may be the closest any product has come to simulating the taste of swimming pool urine.11:16 AM Oct 7thfrom mobile web
Buying shoes at DSW & the place is packed with cougars. You can find me with the rest of the guys pretending to look at the size 12's.10:21 AM Oct 5thfrom mobile web
I just hijacked a school bus with a bag a peanuts and saved $24 that taking a cab would have cost me.12:14 PM Sep 28thfrom web
Attention Kentucky: If you don't want to be thought of as backward hillbilies, stop killing people for counting:
http://bit.ly/vq2wH9:49 AM Sep 24thfrom web
Mackenzie Phillips announced on Oprah that she had sex with her dad. I bet everyone in the audience thought they were getting cars..8:49 PM Sep 23rdfrom mobile web
If all you knew about Jim Carroll was "People Who Died" then you should have been name-checked in the song. http://bit.ly/y0eeh1:11 PM Sep 14thfrom web