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BoobsRadley

  1. @MaraWritesStuff the crime of my life is not being French and/or able to pull of a Peter Pan collar. about 4 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone in reply to MaraWritesStuff
  2. @MaraWritesStuff (breathy mais oui) about 4 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone in reply to MaraWritesStuff
  3. Sex life getting boring? Try a trail of rose petals that leads toward your bed but veers into walls and over some marbles, because ahahaha. about 21 hours ago via web
  4. Going to New York with nothing but a pocketful of dreams is foolish, unless "dreams" is the name of your wildly charismatic tapdancing rat. about 23 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
  5. @edgarwright I write for them. They want you to be Mr. December. 12:28 PM Jun 1st via web in reply to edgarwright
  6. Kale chips are great if you love Ruffles, but hate all the fat and the fact that they don't taste like magazines made out of dead people. 11:54 AM Jun 1st via web
  7. People get so freaked out about casual swearing, but it's like, how great is it that in fifty years, we'll ALL be the "cool" grandma? 10:39 AM Jun 1st via web
  8. If you're a dolphin DJ, I bet making a record-scratching noise by rubbing your own belly is a big hit with crowds. 11:28 AM May 31st via web
  9. Calling yourself China Wok III is a pretty snooty way to let people know that your first restaurant probably came over on the Mayflower. 1:45 PM May 28th via Twitter for iPhone
  10. I bet heralding the apocalypse to kids is crazy annoying. No, I'M Famine, my horse has no name. Oh, you're going to be a vet? Uh-huh. Great. 3:09 PM May 25th via web
  11. I have a lot of questions about ghosts. I wrote about them here, if you love reading about ghost questions. xojane.com/entertainment/… 9:39 AM May 25th via web
  12. Cannot BELIEVE I missed another new moon, or that a blood-based ritual love spell would need to be so bizarrely specific. 2:59 PM May 22nd via web
  13. I bet if you were a Plains Indian and somebody overcooked your bison, you still thanked the Great Spirit, but in an extra bitchy voice. 1:58 PM May 22nd via web
  14. I long for a time before men cat-called at women from cars. Because how funny was that, I bet? "Nice legs!" Clip-clip, clip-clop, clip-clop. 2:30 PM May 20th via web
  15. They may not be the "prettiest" part of the human body, but as far as "jaunty" goes, balls pretty much have the market cornered. 12:05 PM May 20th via web
  16. Insomnia CDs are great if you imagine one whale like "I'm not sure I still love you" and the other all, "Then why did we JUST sign a lease?" 10:01 PM May 15th via Twitter for iPhone
  17. I bet if you're in charge of coming up with colors for J. Crew, you name the ugliest chino shades after jerky, incredulous relatives. 9:01 PM May 15th via Twitter for iPhone
  18. If you work in quality control at the C+C Music Factory, but you've had a late night, you probably miss a few things that make you go HNNNK. 8:20 AM May 14th via Twitter for iPhone
  19. Blondes have more fun, except for that moment when brunettes get out of the shower and pretend they're that bad guy from "Kindergarten Cop." 2:46 PM May 11th via web