bliccy
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"Not intended for children under 13." I think the back of the card my earrings came on just called me a slut.
about 9 hours ago
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Thank God, "Silence of The Lambs" is on another channel. Much less disturbing.
about 11 hours ago
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Matthew Broderick just took a picture of a dinosaur/monster thing. Now he's wagging his finger at a SWAT team. Change channel or more meds?
about 11 hours ago
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I don't get why my stomach hurts when all I've had today is ibuprofen and a fun-size box of Dots.
about 13 hours ago
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It's disappointing when you click on someone's avatar and it doesn't get bigger. Among other things.
about 15 hours ago
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@ In my dreams, it's eau de weed and In-N-Out.
7:24 PM Nov 13th
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in reply to kolchak
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@ Be right over! ;)
7:11 PM Nov 13th
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in reply to leslieberg
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Friday The 13th? I would have survived a horror movie in high school. Because I wasn't getting any. Double-edged butcher knife, if you will.
5:54 PM Nov 13th
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@ Your new avatar is soooo pretty. Or rather, YOU ARE. ;)
3:11 PM Nov 13th
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in reply to myria101
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Water was found on the moon! Next: pants on Lady Gaga.
10:04 AM Nov 13th
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Wishing the happiest birthday to @. One of my favorite people I've "met" in the Twitterverse. Funny, kind, talented. And super hot.
6:25 AM Nov 13th
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To clarify: I work at a rehab clinic and aforementioned pot was disposed of. What kind of girl do you think I am? ...Don't answer that.
3:29 PM Nov 12th
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Co-worker found a baggie of pot outside. Brought it in my office aghast and swung it arou- Ooh, I could really go for some Funyuns.
10:39 AM Nov 12th
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@, you're the shit. Something something old armpit! Thanks!
7:15 PM Nov 11th
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in reply to joeschmitt
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I'll start playing FarmVille when I can make the guys I used to date the pigs.
7:42 PM Nov 10th
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Really, Facebook? You suggest I reconnect with *him*? What a terrible idea. Apparently Facebook thinks like me after too much vodka.
3:55 PM Nov 10th
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@ Thank you, kind sir.
7:04 AM Nov 10th
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in reply to ezduzit777
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@ Have a glass for me.
7:17 PM Nov 9th
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in reply to suomynona
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How do I make the "# new tweets" line stop? Also this deep, unbearable, suffocating loneliness? But mostly the update line. I can get a cat.
6:40 PM Nov 9th
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Photo: I got charged $40 to breathe today:
6:06 PM Nov 9th
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