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bill_dawes

  1. FACT: For tabloids, ALL bad news is true. any thing that sounds like a cover up is. tiger's wife used a club to help 'get him out?' hahaha
  2. Read the story of the fuckness of my fatosity! it's the true hilarious story of fat fuckedness! http://www.laughfactory.com...
  3. joined a gym today. i'm officially a fat fuck. almost 20 percent body fat. i'm the fattest fuck who ever fucked. what should i do???
  4. Bitches! If u ARE a bitch, KNOW a bitch, FUCK a bitch, wanna BE a bitch -- you must read this: http://www.laughfactory.com...
  5. Salt Lake City. i will murder a mormon on November 19th at WISE GUYS IN TROLLEY SQUARE! who wants to watch?
  6. The club is WISE GUYS in Salt Lake! goto http://www.wiseguyscomedy.com THIS NOVEMBER 19TH!!!
  7. Yo peeps, i'm in SALT LAKE CITY -- HEADLINING and shit! it's kinda a big deal.. like u coming or bringing niggas or what?! THIS THURSDAY!
  8. Yo, I almost got my ass kicked! Whether you love me or hate me -- you'll love this! http://www.laughfactory.com...
  9. TIM ALLEN this thursday at 8pm -- Hollywood LAUGH FACTORY! Hit me up for LIMITED FREE TIX!!!
  10. @charliehoehn dayyyyyger!!! hahaahha
  11. LAUGH FACTORY tonight at 10pm in Hollywood! Come to this fuckin' show! it'll change your LIFE! Or it won't at all! But i will say hi!
  12. THURS. night @ 8pm - LA LAUGH FACTORY w/Maz Jobhrani, Dov Davidoff, Neal Brennan and SPECIAL GUEST! Hit me up for FREE tix 917 239 0248!!!
  13. FIELD OF CREAMS #cowfilms
  14. Long Beach LAUGH FACTORY 8 & 10pm! My friend from DC is a PA for NBC & is making a CD/DVD for me on the DL - Hit me up for FREE VIP tix ASAP
  15. Last weekend for I HOPE THEY SERVE BEER IN HELL in most American theatres. First weekend for HOW TO SEDUCE DIFFICULT WOMEN in 1 NYC theatre!
  16. My movie HOW TO SEDUCE DIFFICULT WOMEN opens today FRIDAY @ VILLAGE CINEMA EAST! http://www.howtoseducediffi...! PLUS AFTERPARTY!
  17. American Airlines sucks a hairy John William Lomax dick! Check out the bullshit they DID!!! http://www.laughfactory.com...
  18. Yo, I got a NEW story about the craziest mothafucka I know. Check out the fuckin' weird stories on http://www.billdawes.net u'll be amazed
  19. Twitter is fuckin' retarded. Like bangs, bowl-cut mongoloid underbite candy-lovin' RETARD. Retarded? Or is it gaaaaay? WHAT'S THE DIFF?
  20. MY oneletteroffmovies ARE THE FUUUUUUUCKING BEST!!!! ADMIT THAT SHIT!