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BestChurchofGod

  1. The quickest way to determine if a pumpkin is Christian? Smash it open to see if there's a Jesus inside
  2. Jesus-approved costumes for your anti-Halloween merriment. The Weekly Word's got your back. But not in a gay way. ymlp.com/zFknD6
  3. The Weekly Word has everything you ever wanted to know about why Baby Jesus wants your foreskin: ymlp.com/zg21HQ
  4. Thank goodness God doesn't believe in rock 'n roll- otherwise we'd have to climb a stairway all the way to Heaven.
  5. @Jperez1020 666 is the number of the beast. So the hurricane was your fault.
  6. Disappointed with the hurricane? Let Jesus blow you instead. Witness his power in the new Weekly Word: ymlp.com/z0QEBg
  7. Little known fact: the sitcom "My Two Dads" was loosely based on Jesus' early life with God and Joseph.
  8. Avoid the heat and the fires of Hell by coming to Church- where we offer salvation AND air conditioning.
  9. Next time you want to go swimming, think about WWJD? and take a walk instead.
  10. God would like to hi-five you, but He's got the whole world in His hands.
  11. Christian Thunderdome, why Jesus lovers should be glad July is over and more in the new Weekly Word: ymlp.com/zcgOGO
  12. The Weekly Word is out: Christian s'mores, sexy martyrs for Jesus and David Schwimmer! ymlp.com/zqlSzN
  13. Help someone in need--wait no! don't help them directly: silently pray for them.
  14. Weekly Word: special father's day edition proving your dad is not your real dad. The Bible guarantees it! ymlp.com/zMetg3
  15. @WeberJon also, try salted communion wafers instead of salted peanuts. nothing says baseball like a mouthful of Jesus.
  16. RT@WeberJon: What does the Bible have to say about "Faith Night" at the baseball park? -> if your team loses, God hates you.
  17. RE last tweet: This is what Jesus told Pastor Dave in a dream last night. Not sure what it means, but probably the end is near.
  18. You know when sometimes you squirt dish soap and a hundred tiny bubbles fly around the room? I like that.