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Putting together the roving dance party tonight in Brooklyn. Interested parties and recommendations of where to hit welcome.12:43 PM May 26thvia Twitter for iPhone
ASSHOLE @ PARTY: Fuck you I'm the King of Shit.
ME: That sounds like the worst thing to be king of
D: ..
ME: Ew, what is your crown made of?10:00 AM May 22ndvia HootSuite
FEMALE FRIEND: Stop posting conversations about dating. It scares away women who want to date you
ME: There are women who want to date me?!?5:45 PM May 21stvia HootSuite
ME: I wore a suit all day today, just like a real adult
MOM: I don't like when you talk that way.
ME: With shoes!!!4:36 PM May 21stvia HootSuite
Shooting at music studio where Justin Bieber records. In the bathroom? Springsteen's platnum Born in USA album/cassette ow.ly/i/DERN7:32 AM May 20thvia HootSuite
ME: I'm not gonna be that guy that takes digs at your boyfriend
FEMALE FRIEND: Thanks
M: How's the relationship
F: ..good
M: Sounds terrible12:00 PM May 18thvia HootSuite
EX-GF: H@ppy b-day!There a PÃR-tāy?
ME: Yes, if PÃR-tāy means spending the day in bed watching Netflix tweeting that i'm miserable
EX: këwl2:31 PM May 17thvia HootSuite
ME: Since its inevitable I will waste my life and potential, the least I can do is try to waste them in the most amazing way possible.8:55 PM May 16thvia HootSuite
I'm on 30 Rock right now! Tune to WGN (channel 162 on Time Warner NY). i have the big finale scene w/ Tina Fey flashing me her boobs3:45 PM May 16thvia HootSuite
One of my 30 Rock eps. airs in 1 hour, on WGN (channel 162): "Retreat to Move Forward" - ow.ly/i/CWU1 DVR that shit!...3:00 PM May 16thvia HootSuite
I'm on 30 Rock! Tonight 6:30pm on WGN, rerun of "Retreat to Move Foward". Liz Lemon flashes me her boobs at appox 20 min mark DVR that shit!7:55 AM May 16thvia HootSuite
DATE: You're somehow self-deprecating and arrogant at the same time.
ME: That's cause I'm an idiot-genius.7:20 PM May 15thvia HootSuite
CUTE GIRL: I quoted one of your tweets!
ME: You did?!
GIRL: Yeah!
ME: You need to find a better way to spend your time.
GIRL: ...7:10 PM May 15thvia HootSuite