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benschwartzy

  1. @joegarden I used to love Fuck Buttons' "never got a dinner" bit.
  2. Rahm Emmanuel - name the Emmanuelle sequel that takes place in Israel. #moderncarnacjokenames
  3. Peter Dinklage -- describe what happens to men after an icy swim. #moderncarnacjokenames
  4. I read about the uninvited guests who made contact with Obama at his first State Dinner, but c'mon, Joe Biden is his VP.
  5. Holiday depression setting in ... could sure use a laugh about #BlackFriday from @JamesUrbaniak
  6. How happy is John Daly? He read the news about a golfer's car crash and the wife smashing the window in with a 9-iron, and it's not him!
  7. @AVARY you're on Huffpo today for your jailhouse tweets: http://bit.ly/7u9Vsz
  8. RT @m1keh0gan: Taibbi's open letter to teabaggers. http://bit.ly/8i75tj //yep.
  9. Kids say the cutest things. But not kid Hitler.
  10. @TeresaKopec http://bit.ly/5U2ccW
  11. @TeresaKopec Obama's Afghan plan to support militias is Carter-Reagan's plan that invented the Taliban/UBL. "Charlie Wilson's War II."
  12. @laureltouby: I have 2 tix to Committee to Protect Journalists // to protect journalists from editors? wish I could go.
  13. @JamesUrbaniak Has he been deemed "too old" to play the part? Good luck to you, Shatner 2.0!
  14. @innajunglestyle The new Cold War is ON. I'd call Obama "Eisenhower II," but it's not cool to call a black guy "Ike" anymore.
  15. Obama wants to fund Afghan militias? Isn't that how we got the Taliban? Maybe O will find bin Laden by hiring him. http://bit.ly/6kj6Fc
  16. @attackerman: ... So THAT'S Why Palin Believes in the Ingathering of the Jews //if she was POTUS, a settlement would LOOK good to me, too.
  17. @attackerman: ... So THAT'S Why Palin Believes in the Ingathering of the Jews //if she was POTUS, a settlement would like good to me, too.
  18. Day 8 of @borowitzreport blocking me! I have no idea what's funny about Oprah quitting or J.Lo tripping! Jeeziz, unblock!
  19. @WellHungAtDawn: Which part of Luke Wilson's non-Wes filmography ...//Andy Dick show app where AD sez he looks like KD Lang?
  20. RT @RealGilbert: @@@@@@@@@@@@TTTTTTTTTTTTDDDDDDDDDDDDDD>>>>>>>>>// Gilbert', stealing Larry Storch's stuff??