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bensandel

  1. Grilling a PB&J on a George Foreman grill. #AmericanDream
  2. I'm reading The Hunger Games on an empty stomach. Then I'm reading Chicken Soup for the Soul, followed by The Chocolate War. #hungergames
  3. I have a feeling tonight I'm going to cheat on my car with a cab.
  4. New Year's resolution: Open a cat litter store next to "The Smitten Kitten" sex toy shop, and call it "The Shitten Kitten."
  5. Last year at this time it was zero degrees with 30 feet of snow and polar bears throwing penguins at children. Happy New Year’s everybody.
  6. Shopping for my 4-year-old nephew but all the cool toys are ages 6+. Guess he'll have to wait on the Nerf Motorized Semi-Automatic Blaster.
  7. They should have called the first one "Mission: Improbable," so the sequels had somewhere to go. #fb
  8. A lot of people are now following me on Twitter. I should start updating this more often. Hi, everybody! Glad you want to hear my thoughts.
  9. A Nice Guy's Guide to Awkward Sex plays @ 8:30 tonight at the Mixed Blood for an encore show! Last chance to see it! #mnfringe rocks!
  10. Third show of A Nice Guy's Guide to Awkward Sex sold out AND I found out I'm going to have another nephew. Good day.
  11. Followed former newscaster Robin Robinson at a comedy/fundraiser event Thursday. But backstage she didn't even look me in the eye.
  12. I've written a total of 10 tweets in my lifetime. I don't know whether to be proud, or ashamed.
  13. In my search for props, I've learned it's next to impossible to find mustard-colored curtains. Anyone know a good TC curtain outlet?
  14. performing new jokes at BALLS Cabaret tonight at midnight at the Southern Thtr. I just may tell a joke about Miracle Whip vs. Mayonnaise.
  15. OK. OK. It's time I start using Twitter more often. Posting once every six months just won't cut it.
  16. Fifth show of Animal Cracker Genocide is in two hours. Last show is at 8:30.
  17. Fourth show of Animal Cracker Genocide is in three hours. Just two left, then the Fringe is over for another year.
  18. Show three of Animal Cracker Genocide opens in four hours.
  19. Couldn't sleep at all last night. One-man show opens in five hours.
  20. Minnesota Fringe Festival starts today. My show, Animal Cracker Genocide, debuts 5:30 pm Sunday, at Augsburg. Have fun Fringing. Wheeeeeeeee