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benjaminkorman

  1. I'm so glad this blizzard I'm trapped in has afforded me to the chance to become familiar with every possible configuration of snowflake. 7:20 PM Dec 19th from web
  2. Why did Stephen Hawking leave his wife? He was sick of her always pushing him around. 7:37 AM Dec 11th from web
  3. Writing a very personal letter to President Obama. What kind of paper is the best at absorbing menstrual blood? 2:55 PM Dec 9th from web
  4. Just got back from Showtime Network headquarters; developing a show called "Sexter" about a rapist who only rapes serial rapists. 5:57 PM Dec 8th from web
  5. Studying to pass the bar. Looks like I can make it if I just head straight to the bathrooms near the kitchen. 11:48 PM Dec 7th from web
  6. Why do they call it a Rorschach test if all the pictures are of bloody, mutilated uteruses? 2:41 PM Dec 3rd from web
  7. One word: two words. 4:56 AM Dec 3rd from web
  8. Went bungee-jumping today. Harness broke in half. Saddle broke, too. I'm fine, but I lost my best horse-- RIP Neuromancer Buttercup Jr! 12:18 PM Nov 29th from web
  9. What's up with robots? If I wanted a machine that does things for me and breaks all the time, I'd just vote! Cha-ching! Take that, politics! 4:16 PM Nov 25th from web
  10. What if the bible were a twitter post? We could finally skip all that boring story and get straight to the prejudicing against homosexuals. 5:00 PM Nov 24th from web
  11. My bipolar pig has disappeared! Haven't yet ruled out sow-icide. Frowny face emoticon. 5:19 PM Nov 20th from web
  12. Just had delicious Egyptian burger at Mr. Falafel in Park Slope! Depressed, because three slaves died building it. Slavery is sad. 7:57 PM Nov 18th from web
  13. Dislocated my shoulder. Need help relocating it--please help. Last seen entering a taxi at Broadway and 37th Street, heading north. 5:29 PM Nov 17th from web
  14. Watching Nick & Nora's infinite Playlist DVD on a bus. Wish guy sitting next to me would stop talking about it and just stab me already. 12:32 PM Nov 16th from web
  15. Idea for a business letter: "I regret to inform you that your proposal for an infinite fun machine has been denied." Letter writing is easy! 10:53 AM Nov 14th from web
  16. I am using wireless internet on a bus. Clearly, man can advance no further than this. 1:14 PM Nov 13th from web
  17. Trying to be more interested in art. Not easy. Having difficulty picturing Georgia O'Keefe naked. 6:09 PM Nov 11th from web
  18. Whatever happened to Princess Di? 8:13 PM Nov 9th from web
  19. Won the lottery today! Not looking forward to being stoned to death. 4:00 PM Nov 9th from web
  20. New video: http://www.vimeo.com/7447656 4:22 AM Nov 5th from web