benfrancis
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Amy Winehouse takes drugs due to poor education. I don't think she's up to speed and will therefore crack up or go to pot.
7:59 PM Nov 24th
from Tweetie
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To my fellow stutterers - if at first you don't succeed, try try again.
4:54 AM Nov 24th
from web
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That, as they pointed out to me in a burrito shop, is a wrap. Two fun days of filming are, like said wrap, in the can.
4:13 PM Nov 22nd
from web
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@ thanks for that - I'm impressed you worked it out - I re-read it and didn't work it out for at least five minutes!
4:08 PM Nov 22nd
from web
in reply to qwq121
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@ touché sir, touché!
4:03 PM Nov 22nd
from web
in reply to chillipuss
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It was an easy choice for the newspaper. Attract more readers by featuring topless models or risk insolvency. They went bust.
4:31 AM Nov 22nd
from Tweetie
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In medieval England, two knights found themselves in rather awkward harmony when they discovered they were on the same page.
2:21 PM Nov 21st
from web
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I didn't get much sleep. I'm currently on set, feeling like a sewer worker. Just going through the motions.
6:56 AM Nov 21st
from Tweetie
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Oh dear! I saw Brian May from Queen today and I couldn't help but slap his bum. I've officially hit rock bottom.
2:55 PM Nov 20th
from Tweetie
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I dropped my All Bran and a very rude word seemed to form in the mess. I couldn't clean it up. I didn't have any moral fibre.
9:30 AM Nov 19th
from web
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At this year's annual committee meeting of "Furniture Fondlers Annonymous", I was invited to take the chair.
4:57 AM Nov 19th
from Tweetie
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@ well, I'm not an expert...but I do believe they are bigger than Popeye's.
4:52 AM Nov 19th
from Tweetie
in reply to whatalamename2
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Tobacco: demon weed. Tofu: demon pooed.
3:38 PM Nov 18th
from web
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Today I decided to go around groping men. I don't know why, I was just feeling nuts.
3:08 PM Nov 18th
from Tweetie
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I understand The Scissor Sister are back in the studio. Busy beavering away just to make both ends meet.
8:22 PM Nov 17th
from web
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The definition of gambling is sodomy with a prostitute. You can bet your bottom dollar it is.
4:39 PM Nov 17th
from Tweetie
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If you can look your innocent, young child straight in the eye and lie about it all...then you're a midget.
3:57 PM Nov 16th
from Tweetie
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@ day 3...munchies!
3:49 PM Nov 16th
from Tweetie
in reply to gawnee
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And on the first day He created light...for He knew that on the second day, He would create marijuana. And it was good.
3:42 PM Nov 16th
from Tweetie
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I was planning to go see Michael Jackson's "This Is It" yesterday, but I thought it may make me feel a little juvenile.
11:58 AM Nov 16th
from web
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- Name Benedict Francis
- Location Winchester, Hampshire GB
- Web http://www.benedi...
- Bio Actor, composer, musician, director, designer, writer amongst other things more dull and untrue.
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