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ben_mayer

  1. I just farted. That's all for now. 9:44 PM May 30th via Twitter for iPhone
  2. Although I was pretty sure it was not, I went with Jawa cause it's dark and the last thing I need when I'm half asleep is a surprise Jawa. 9:35 PM May 30th via Twitter for iPhone
  3. Not sure if that's a brown paper, Rite Aid bag with toilet paper in it at the foot of my stairs, or a very surprised Jawa looking up at me. 9:20 PM May 30th via Twitter for iPhone
  4. @oliviajuliana oh cool. she's good people. i hope she's enjoying FLA 9:04 PM May 22nd via Twitter for iPhone in reply to oliviajuliana
  5. @oliviajuliana impressive, young one 8:37 PM May 22nd via Twitter for iPhone in reply to oliviajuliana
  6. She's no longer with the organization. 7:03 PM May 22nd via Twitter for iPhone
  7. Her name was "Mugsy." 7:02 PM May 22nd via Twitter for iPhone
  8. No. (My immediate response to so many of your profile pics) 9:13 AM Mar 15th via Twitter for iPhone
  9. It's just a child crying asking for it back. Passed right out. 12:57 PM Jan 24th via Twitter for iPhone
  10. Just downloaded Ambience to my iPhone. My favorite sound so far: "Weeping Child." 12:56 PM Jan 24th via Twitter for iPhone
  11. If u r blind & was just offended, that means u have some freaky, computer generated voice reading to you. In that case ... razzmatazz. 11:54 PM Sep 6th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone
  12. I firmly believe the #1 cause of blindness is repetitive sudden exposure to light while accustomed to the dark. The #2 cause? Birth. 11:34 PM Sep 6th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone
  13. I'm not egotistical or self-centered, but I do feel bad falling asleep because I know that when I do, the rest of the world will be paused. 8:33 PM Aug 15th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone
  14. Life's not that complicated. U get up, u go to work, eat 3 meals, u take 1 good shit and u go back to bed. What's the fucking mystery? - GC 9:55 PM Aug 12th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone
  15. @effinmertmij It's true. Just look what it did to Rick Allen. 12:02 PM Jul 21st, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone in reply to effinmertmij
  16. Cockbot! does not discriminate - except for when it comes to race and religion. 8:46 AM Jul 21st, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone
  17. Cockbot's "witty" catchphrase is, "SO WHO WANTS TO FUCK?!!" 8:29 PM Jul 20th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone
  18. Cockbot! collects tapestries ... and young, unwilling children. 8:24 PM Jul 20th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone
  19. Cockbot! once got a job as a grocery store clerk, but was soon fired after all the rape. 8:11 PM Jul 20th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone
  20. Cockbot! spends most of its day on Chatroulette hitting "next." 8:06 PM Jul 20th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone