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beersuds

  1. Airport security made me drink some of my pop. Is a guy who's about to blow himself up really worried about drinking a little nitroglycerin? about 20 hours ago from Tweetie
  2. All religion aside, I’m just glad Rifqa Bary can enjoy bacon now… about 22 hours ago from web
  3. @vampisaurus I think you're very funny.... just sayin'... 9:46 PM Dec 22nd from web
  4. Beersuds used the word Fuck in his tweet <----- Right there... 9:45 PM Dec 22nd from web
  5. Changing my profile to list location as: On top of your Mom… 5:38 PM Dec 22nd from web
  6. Attention: There are 5 words you’re no longer allowed to use in a DM to me. Have fun figuring out what they are on your own… :-) 4:41 PM Dec 22nd from web
  7. Shouldn’t all ghosts be naked?? It’s not like your clothes die too… 1:39 PM Dec 22nd from web
  8. The Favstar servers are about as dependable as an alcoholic parent… 10:44 AM Dec 22nd from web
  9. Just once I’d like to see the Cash Cab kick losers out in the middle of Harlem… 9:47 AM Dec 22nd from web
  10. I screwed a bulb into the dog’s left nostril but couldn’t fit a battery into his right one. Project Rudolph the Red Nosed Terrier is a bust. 7:07 PM Dec 21st from web
  11. Being married, I usually have to wait for big days like Christmas to get a BJ. I’m lucky I found a hooker willing to work on holidays. 9:17 AM Dec 21st from web
  12. Watching the Jackson Family Reality Show makes me wish I had a world famous brother who died under mysterious circumstances… 5:53 PM Dec 20th from web
  13. A TV documentary showed a death certificate that listed Cirrhosis as the cause of death… which reminded me that I have beer in the fridge… 3:54 PM Dec 20th from web
  14. I’m sending everyone I know who has a problem with cold-sores mistletoe sprigs as an early Christmas present… 1:12 PM Dec 20th from web
  15. I guess that all you can eat Chinese buffet gift certificate I sent her for Christmas won’t be used now… #ripbrittanymurphy 12:32 PM Dec 20th from web
  16. Just saw Avatar... I hate you humans... 11:37 PM Dec 19th from web
  17. If I were Rudolph I’d be happy that all the reindeer who use to break my balls had to now stare at my ass while working Christmas Eve… 3:27 PM Dec 19th from web
  18. As a matter of fact Dead or Alive, I am lots of fun... 12:32 PM Dec 19th from web
  19. I’m in the bathroom and out of TP. Related: They should put those decorative bathroom towels behind glass you break in case of an emergency. 11:10 AM Dec 19th from web
  20. OK. I've figured out that 2 of you traveled forward in time, read my jokes, traveled back in time & then posted similar jokes. How DARE you! 5:09 PM Dec 18th from web