beeborg
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Follow @ on twitter and RT "Soak Your Nuts" for FREE tickets to @ Chicago this weekend!
1:00 PM May 3rd
via web
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@ SHARON NEEDLES SHOULD WIN!!!!!
10:35 AM Apr 24th
via web
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You'll do.
11:40 AM Feb 14th
via web
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A quote from my new med school workout video, “Pain is just Häagen-Dazs leaving the body!”
5:05 PM May 24th, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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There's a new episode of Dinobrain to tickle your lobes! We talk about poop, butts, and my love of hemorrhoid guns!
2:21 PM Dec 6th, 2010
via Twitter for iPhone
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Me: Can we do a musical number for my birthday?
Dave: Sure, ♪ threeeee ♪
5:10 PM Sep 5th, 2010
via Twitter for iPhone
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Great. It's that time again. Where I attempt to run on a treadmill and the great herds of water buffalo stampede in response.
9:39 AM Jul 4th, 2010
via Twitter for iPhone
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Boy, I really hope this honey mask rejuvenates my faOH GOD, POOH MAULING! POOH MAULING!
1:03 PM Jun 14th, 2010
via Twitter for iPhone
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Hey Green Shirt, is Starbucks really the place to catch up on missed volumes of Best Bondage Erotica?
Hint: your safeword should be No.
6:04 PM Jun 12th, 2010
via Twitter for iPhone
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I'm eating M&M'S with a fork from a soup bowl. I am the pinnacle of evolution.
8:29 AM May 5th, 2010
via Twitter for iPhone
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This just in: my armpits smell like popcorn again.
10:24 AM Apr 16th, 2010
via Twitter for iPhone
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Spring has sprung, flowers are in bloom, beavers are building their dams, and a lone medical student tries not to jump out of a window.
7:38 AM Apr 14th, 2010
via web
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Last night I used a bag of gummy worms as a pillow.
6:55 AM Mar 31st, 2010
via Birdhouse
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@ I LOVE PRESTON!!!
6:52 PM Mar 30th, 2010
via Twitter for iPhone
in reply to hellnope
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Woah, the excruciatingly talented @ animated a @ segment. I'm a unicorn!
9:37 AM Mar 29th, 2010
via web
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I'm into trapezoids, Mike is king of the insta-crush, and Dave pounds wine. Episode 13 loves your lobes:
6:36 AM Mar 15th, 2010
via web
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Final Fantasy 13 comes out today! If you need me, I'll be casting Useless on my Life Beast.
8:52 AM Mar 9th, 2010
via Twitter for iPhone
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I keep boxes of Cadbury Creme Eggs in my freezer year-round and I don't care who knows it! Related: I'm single and no one loves me.
1:08 PM Mar 8th, 2010
via web
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I knew he was the man of my dreams when, in the midst of expressing our carnal desire, he asked if I'd rather stop and go for ice cream.
9:37 AM Mar 8th, 2010
via Birdhouse
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I've put off showering for so long my stink lines have become self-aware.
9:47 AM Mar 7th, 2010
via web
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