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beeborg

  1. @RuPaulsDragRace SHARON NEEDLES SHOULD WIN!!!!! #dragrace 10:35 AM Apr 24th via web
  2. You'll do. #candyheartrejects 11:40 AM Feb 14th via web
  3. A quote from my new med school workout video, “Pain is just Häagen-Dazs leaving the body!” 5:05 PM May 24th, 2011 via Twitter for iPhone
  4. There's a new episode of Dinobrain to tickle your lobes! We talk about poop, butts, and my love of hemorrhoid guns! http://dinobrain.com/ 2:21 PM Dec 6th, 2010 via Twitter for iPhone
  5. Me: Can we do a musical number for my birthday? Dave: Sure, ♪ threeeee ♪ 5:10 PM Sep 5th, 2010 via Twitter for iPhone
  6. Great. It's that time again. Where I attempt to run on a treadmill and the great herds of water buffalo stampede in response. 9:39 AM Jul 4th, 2010 via Twitter for iPhone
  7. Boy, I really hope this honey mask rejuvenates my faOH GOD, POOH MAULING! POOH MAULING! 1:03 PM Jun 14th, 2010 via Twitter for iPhone
  8. Hey Green Shirt, is Starbucks really the place to catch up on missed volumes of Best Bondage Erotica? Hint: your safeword should be No. 6:04 PM Jun 12th, 2010 via Twitter for iPhone
  9. I'm eating M&M'S with a fork from a soup bowl. I am the pinnacle of evolution. 8:29 AM May 5th, 2010 via Twitter for iPhone
  10. This just in: my armpits smell like popcorn again. 10:24 AM Apr 16th, 2010 via Twitter for iPhone
  11. Spring has sprung, flowers are in bloom, beavers are building their dams, and a lone medical student tries not to jump out of a window. 7:38 AM Apr 14th, 2010 via web
  12. Last night I used a bag of gummy worms as a pillow. 6:55 AM Mar 31st, 2010 via Birdhouse
  13. @sandwichpolice I LOVE PRESTON!!! 6:52 PM Mar 30th, 2010 via Twitter for iPhone in reply to hellnope
  14. Woah, the excruciatingly talented @darkmotion animated a @dinobrain segment. I'm a unicorn! http://tumblr.com/xmw7y8krw 9:37 AM Mar 29th, 2010 via web
  15. I'm into trapezoids, Mike is king of the insta-crush, and Dave pounds wine. Episode 13 loves your lobes: http://dinobrain.com 6:36 AM Mar 15th, 2010 via web
  16. Final Fantasy 13 comes out today! If you need me, I'll be casting Useless on my Life Beast. 8:52 AM Mar 9th, 2010 via Twitter for iPhone
  17. I keep boxes of Cadbury Creme Eggs in my freezer year-round and I don't care who knows it! Related: I'm single and no one loves me. 1:08 PM Mar 8th, 2010 via web
  18. I knew he was the man of my dreams when, in the midst of expressing our carnal desire, he asked if I'd rather stop and go for ice cream. 9:37 AM Mar 8th, 2010 via Birdhouse
  19. I've put off showering for so long my stink lines have become self-aware. 9:47 AM Mar 7th, 2010 via web