bedheadblonde
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I won't star Tweets that make fun of God. If I click that star...
*WHA-PISSSH!*
Whoa, what was that?
You getting Bible-belted, heathen!
5 minutes ago
from web
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Betty Ford Clinic Barbie
(That was my Halloween costume one year! True story.)
about 1 hour ago
from web
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@ ~MY "Tuna Cave" is YOUR "Tuna Cave", Tony. At least in this case. Submit away! Ovcourse we split the prize money 60/40- right?
about 1 hour ago
from web
in reply to Tony_E_NC
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Ladies: If the entrance to your Tuna Cave is well-maintained, the odds of it getting spelunked are better.
Having a man around helps too.
about 3 hours ago
from web
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Life Goal: Use the bathroom alone. ALL ALONE.
No knocking or little fingers reaching under the door to ruin my shit vacation.
Dream big.
about 13 hours ago
from web
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@ @ Dang. First liar doesn't stand a chance in this crowd.
about 19 hours ago
from web
in reply to EdgellACE
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@ You know you're skeery when an inanimate Brit.ney bot leaves you alone!
You don't scare ME though. Nope.
about 20 hours ago
from web
in reply to FormerPolice
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@ @ I am having the same thing happen. (It inspired me to go Bot-Blocking.)
about 20 hours ago
from web
in reply to EdgellACE
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@ Not a spelling expert. But when time and space bend around your stupidity and threaten to swallow the universe, I'll call it out.
about 22 hours ago
from web
in reply to JackAwful
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It's "au contraire"- not "oh contrare". Maybe if you weren't so busy being a vapid vortex of stupidity you'd have time to look that shit up.
about 23 hours ago
from web
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"I only had enough money for soap or food. So I bought cigarettes."
8:38 AM Dec 2nd
from web
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Rob Pattinson looks dirty to me.
Not in a "No time for bathing due to all the fucking" way.
In a "My dad had custody this weekend" way.
8:25 AM Dec 2nd
from web
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"Hey Mom? At school today we learned that a 'sphincter' is really called an "
'asterisk'."
"Well, it looks like a sphincter to me."
* * *
7:42 AM Dec 2nd
from web
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@ Thanks! =)
6:58 AM Dec 2nd
from web
in reply to ArrogantGrump
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@ Turn your head and cough... Uh, oh. You may want to get a second opinion.
6:57 AM Dec 2nd
from web
in reply to WaldoFudd
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@ Someday age and gravity will have their way with your nubile bosom- and you'll remember this tweet. And you'll cry. For both of us.
8:23 PM Dec 1st
from web
in reply to Jewles
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When I bend over naked, my boobs resemble two tube socks with tennis balls in the toe.
8:05 PM Dec 1st
from web
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Whatever a good shit won't cure, a good fuck usually will.
1:59 PM Dec 1st
from web
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According to this pediatrician, "Foamy Ass Gravy" is not a medical term.
Fine. Whatever, "Doctor."
8:58 AM Dec 1st
from txt
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- @ I thought of YOU when I saw this picture... How'd your Christmas lights turn out?
7:19 PM Nov 30th
from TwitPic
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- Name Bethamphetamine
- Location Ft Walton Beach, FL
- Web http://favstar.fm...
- Bio Feminine duplicity and trenchant wit.
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