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bedheadblonde

  1. I won't star Tweets that make fun of God. If I click that star... *WHA-PISSSH!* Whoa, what was that? You getting Bible-belted, heathen!
  2. Betty Ford Clinic Barbie #badbarbies (That was my Halloween costume one year! True story.)
  3. @Tony_E_NC ~MY "Tuna Cave" is YOUR "Tuna Cave", Tony. At least in this case. Submit away! Ovcourse we split the prize money 60/40- right?
  4. Ladies: If the entrance to your Tuna Cave is well-maintained, the odds of it getting spelunked are better. Having a man around helps too.
  5. Life Goal: Use the bathroom alone. ALL ALONE. No knocking or little fingers reaching under the door to ruin my shit vacation. Dream big.
  6. @EdgellACE @one800higgins Dang. First liar doesn't stand a chance in this crowd.
  7. @FormerPolice You know you're skeery when an inanimate Brit.ney bot leaves you alone! You don't scare ME though. Nope.
  8. @EdgellACE @FormerPolice I am having the same thing happen. (It inspired me to go Bot-Blocking.)
  9. @JackAwful Not a spelling expert. But when time and space bend around your stupidity and threaten to swallow the universe, I'll call it out.
  10. It's "au contraire"- not "oh contrare". Maybe if you weren't so busy being a vapid vortex of stupidity you'd have time to look that shit up.
  11. "I only had enough money for soap or food. So I bought cigarettes." #HipsterCreed
  12. Rob Pattinson looks dirty to me. Not in a "No time for bathing due to all the fucking" way. In a "My dad had custody this weekend" way.
  13. "Hey Mom? At school today we learned that a 'sphincter' is really called an " 'asterisk'." "Well, it looks like a sphincter to me." * * *
  14. @ArrogantGrump Thanks! =)
  15. @WaldoFudd Turn your head and cough... Uh, oh. You may want to get a second opinion.
  16. @Jewles Someday age and gravity will have their way with your nubile bosom- and you'll remember this tweet. And you'll cry. For both of us.
  17. When I bend over naked, my boobs resemble two tube socks with tennis balls in the toe.
  18. Whatever a good shit won't cure, a good fuck usually will.
  19. According to this pediatrician, "Foamy Ass Gravy" is not a medical term. Fine. Whatever, "Doctor."
  20. http://twitpic.com/rnwjm - @JeeNeeBee I thought of YOU when I saw this picture... How'd your Christmas lights turn out?