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bedheadblonde

  1. I won't star Tweets that make fun of God. If I click that star... *WHA-PISSSH!* Whoa, what was that? You getting Bible-belted, heathen! 5 minutes ago from web
  2. Betty Ford Clinic Barbie #badbarbies (That was my Halloween costume one year! True story.) about 1 hour ago from web
  3. @Tony_E_NC ~MY "Tuna Cave" is YOUR "Tuna Cave", Tony. At least in this case. Submit away! Ovcourse we split the prize money 60/40- right? about 1 hour ago from web in reply to Tony_E_NC
  4. Ladies: If the entrance to your Tuna Cave is well-maintained, the odds of it getting spelunked are better. Having a man around helps too. about 3 hours ago from web
  5. Life Goal: Use the bathroom alone. ALL ALONE. No knocking or little fingers reaching under the door to ruin my shit vacation. Dream big. about 13 hours ago from web
  6. @EdgellACE @one800higgins Dang. First liar doesn't stand a chance in this crowd. about 19 hours ago from web in reply to EdgellACE
  7. @FormerPolice You know you're skeery when an inanimate Brit.ney bot leaves you alone! You don't scare ME though. Nope. about 20 hours ago from web in reply to FormerPolice
  8. @EdgellACE @FormerPolice I am having the same thing happen. (It inspired me to go Bot-Blocking.) about 20 hours ago from web in reply to EdgellACE
  9. @JackAwful Not a spelling expert. But when time and space bend around your stupidity and threaten to swallow the universe, I'll call it out. about 22 hours ago from web in reply to JackAwful
  10. It's "au contraire"- not "oh contrare". Maybe if you weren't so busy being a vapid vortex of stupidity you'd have time to look that shit up. about 23 hours ago from web
  11. "I only had enough money for soap or food. So I bought cigarettes." #HipsterCreed 8:38 AM Dec 2nd from web
  12. Rob Pattinson looks dirty to me. Not in a "No time for bathing due to all the fucking" way. In a "My dad had custody this weekend" way. 8:25 AM Dec 2nd from web
  13. "Hey Mom? At school today we learned that a 'sphincter' is really called an " 'asterisk'." "Well, it looks like a sphincter to me." * * * 7:42 AM Dec 2nd from web
  14. @ArrogantGrump Thanks! =) 6:58 AM Dec 2nd from web in reply to ArrogantGrump
  15. @WaldoFudd Turn your head and cough... Uh, oh. You may want to get a second opinion. 6:57 AM Dec 2nd from web in reply to WaldoFudd
  16. @Jewles Someday age and gravity will have their way with your nubile bosom- and you'll remember this tweet. And you'll cry. For both of us. 8:23 PM Dec 1st from web in reply to Jewles
  17. When I bend over naked, my boobs resemble two tube socks with tennis balls in the toe. 8:05 PM Dec 1st from web
  18. Whatever a good shit won't cure, a good fuck usually will. 1:59 PM Dec 1st from web
  19. According to this pediatrician, "Foamy Ass Gravy" is not a medical term. Fine. Whatever, "Doctor." 8:58 AM Dec 1st from txt
  20. http://twitpic.com/rnwjm - @JeeNeeBee I thought of YOU when I saw this picture... How'd your Christmas lights turn out? 7:19 PM Nov 30th from TwitPic