bearskinrug
- SAD: Thirty people trapped in a car. FUNNY: Thirty clowns trapped in a car.10:04 AM Nov 5th from web
- SAD: A pet falling out of a window. FUNNY: A clown falling out of a window. See? Clowns really ARE funny.3:27 AM Nov 4th from web
- When seen in profile, it's clear that every Peanuts character is related, and should immediately end any romantic entanglements.6:39 AM Oct 31st from web
- Note to self: in the future, when re-clamping the bathroom dog gate after you shower, put on some pants. That was a close call.4:21 AM Oct 28th from web
- Uggh. I'm so fed up with this new car. I don't even remember why I stole it in the first place.9:20 AM Oct 21st from web
- I'm glad I took Chicken in high school. It's been much handier than French.3:15 AM Oct 7th from web
- I've also found the best way to avoid a cockfight is learning the phrase "just be cool, man..." in chicken.3:12 AM Oct 7th from web
- I've found the best way to avoid a fight is to actually never set foot IN a boxing ring.1:00 PM Oct 6th from web
- There are some homemade things that just can't compare to the professionally-prepared version. Like crepes. Or a parachute.7:11 AM Sep 23rd from web
- Patience is not in my dog's vocabulary. Along with many other human words. Except "bark". And "roof".3:56 PM Sep 16th from web
- It's interesting how fishnet can be so sexy on legs in the food service industry, yet so un-sexy on heads in the food service industry.1:36 PM Sep 12th from web
- I want the kind of name that allows me to say "You can't possibly pronounce it in your tongue" when an alien asks it. Is "Kev" one of those?4:25 PM Sep 3rd from web
- There's nothing wrong with drinking a martini at 3 in the afternoon. Eating it... now THAT would be wrong.12:27 PM Sep 1st from web
- Uncle Reuben's death is tragic, but I'm comforted knowing he's gone to a better place. This funeral home is so sumptuously decorated!9:46 AM Aug 28th from web
- Seeing a magician was cool and everything, but I really need my watch back. And the top half of my wife.3:58 PM Aug 25th from web
- You say potAto. I say poTAto. Then you punch me in the mouth. This is the worst Potato Festival I've ever attended.9:58 AM Aug 14th from web
- The sun and I maintain our tentative armistice. I continue to not get tan, and it continues to not outright set my hair on fire.6:49 AM Aug 10th from web
- I've learned I don't need drugs or alcohol to have a fun time. Just good friends and the natural high of auto-erotic asphyxiation.5:59 PM Aug 4th from web
- And lastly, comedy is zigging over and over and over until people are like "Man... I can't believe he's still zigging."1:48 PM Aug 2nd from web
- Comedy also is zooping when everyone expects zigging and zagging.1:47 PM Aug 2nd from web
|
|
