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bdurbin

  1. If it isn't already in use, I offer "shat the onesie" for addition to the Secret Service code book: "POTUS shat the onesie, we're leaving." 10:43 AM Nov 22nd from Twitterrific
  2. Can't believe this is the first sitz bath luncheon I've attended. Nothing says community like folks getting together to soak parts. 12:20 PM Nov 20th from Twitterrific
  3. Now _that_ was a rousing five minute rendition of the four words I know from "Beer Barrel Polka". 11:37 AM Oct 7th from Twitterrific
  4. Working on a homebrew medical power of attorney. First draft: "I, the Undersigned DON'T KILL ME!". 10:03 AM Sep 17th from Twitterrific
  5. Nothing says ‘I love my body’ like an eleven hundred calorie pot pie. 12:53 PM Sep 14th from Twitterrific
  6. Draft chapter titles for the eventual memoir: "Chubby and Reeking of Smokehouse Almonds" and "Still Reeking of Smokehouse Almonds" 10:01 AM Sep 3rd from Twitterrific
  7. God, please grant me the clarity and strength to look smokin' hot while driving my car. 2:09 PM Sep 1st from Twitterrific
  8. Career coach says "and sexy balloon animals" is where recruiters are moving on to the next resume. But who wants un-sexy balloon animals? 9:17 AM Aug 28th from Twitterrific
  9. People just don't show up at your house demanding rum like they used to. And by people I mean pirates. 8:10 AM Aug 26th from Twitterrific
  10. I now comply with the limits for a Class B computing device pursuant to Part 15/Subpart J of FCC Rules. Cross that one off the bucket list. 11:06 AM Aug 24th from Twitterrific
  11. Still suffering pain related to pelvic floor injuries from high school choir. Kids: choose your sports carefully. 9:25 AM Jul 24th from Twitterrific
  12. Figured out how to grow cats hydroponically. Franchise opportunities available. 9:06 AM Jun 25th from Twitterrific
  13. 2 Cautious 2 Agreeable #nicerfilmtitles 6:48 PM Jun 17th from Twitterrific
  14. Dreamt that I was combing a wavy and luxurious mullet. Dream interpretation book says that means I need to eat more unicorn. 10:50 AM Jun 14th from Twitterrific
  15. Trying to get me a slice of that Papal infallibility. 9:27 AM May 19th from Twitterrific
  16. It's like landing the dirigible when Frère Jacques is only halfway through Vespers. #freeanalogies 4:00 PM May 18th from Twitterrific
  17. What a night! Made the mistake of chasing the Double Happiness noodles with a slice of Unprecedented Sadness pie. 8:25 AM Apr 23rd from Twitterrific
  18. Yes, Virginia, there is a Diamond Certified hair transplant surgeon named Peter J. Panagotacos. 3:26 PM Apr 20th from Twitterrific
  19. It's like giving someone a scoop of rum-raisin when what they asked for was rum and raisins. #freeanalogies 9:58 AM Apr 19th from Twitterrific
  20. Tired of the high cost and low quality of those commercial analogy vendors? Me too. I feel a public service coming. 9:54 AM Apr 18th from Twitterrific
  • Name Ben Durbin
  • Location San Francisco, CA, USA
  • Bio Making. Monkeys. More. Manageable.
40 Following 684 Followers 22 Listed
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