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bcompton

@wifeoftj I'VE ABANDONED MY PEANUT BUSTER PARFAIT!about 12 hours ago from Birdfeed in reply to wifeoftj
@biorhythmist ZPNG!5:08 PM Jul 8th from web in reply to biorhythmist
Officially ready to get the fuck out of Kentucky.3:44 PM Jul 8th from Tweetie
Hi @tweeteorites Please enable timelines for me on http://tweeteorites.com/ !6:33 AM Jul 8th from web
@whitneypannell I always wondered who was responsible for those. Very cool. Thank you.6:13 AM Jul 8th from Birdfeed in reply to whitneypannell
Betsy Ross' balls were SO big that a picture of them on flickr automatically gets a comment from the administrators of every group. #BRBalls11:19 AM Jul 6th from web
My local Sam's Club has many surprising "services." http://flic.kr/p/6C7N1p12:32 PM Jul 5th from Flickr
@Mike_FTW I found you through @MrTweet! Lookin forward to your tweets! You're funny! @MrTweet slept with my mom! He better watch his back!3:32 PM Jul 4th from Birdhouse
The redneck dialect is thick and the air sparkles with the ever-increasing potential for explosive digit removal.3:24 PM Jul 4th from Birdhouse
@abigvictory Is everything okay? You've been doing a lot more ass-shoving than usual lately.6:29 AM Jul 4th from web in reply to abigvictory
"It ain't over till the fat lady quits in fear of the pictures the fat lady found in her mailbox appearing on TMZ." -Pleasant J. Aphorism5:57 AM Jul 4th from Tweetie
Look, son! There's a tiny American flag in our front yard! He came last night, he came! Uncle Sam is real!!5:52 AM Jul 4th from Tweetie
@nevenmrgan I hope she's off to be whatever you call it when a white person is a "community organizer."6:07 PM Jul 3rd from Tweetie in reply to nevenmrgan
@the_dza Next time just hook the EKG directly to the funnel cake.5:55 PM Jul 3rd from web in reply to the_dza
I sold out for a 1 in 100,000 chance at a macbook. I said don't look at me. #moonfruit4:14 PM Jul 3rd from web
This has to be some sort of Elmer Fudd-esque logical quandry gambit to get Obama to also resign early.3:58 PM Jul 3rd from web
I FEEL ALIVE3:55 PM Jul 3rd from Tweetie
Palin making crazy news every six months is the token lingerie purchase in the loveless marriage that is my post-election Twitter life.2:58 PM Jul 3rd from Tweetie
Please please please let Larry Flynt have had something to do with Sarah Palin's "stepping down."1:05 PM Jul 3rd from web
If you lived in Kentucky, you too could be looking forward to the "exchanging of the vowels" promised by this wedding invitation.11:55 AM Jul 3rd from Birdfeed