S: I need beer. Beer beer beer. I need beer! J: He sounds like daddy.

J: On the first day if Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nufing. :(

God help us. Julia's first text. twitter.com/baffledexpert/…

Best train set up yet? twitter.com/baffledexpert/…

Mummy, put your dickie dow... Mummy, where's your dickie!?!

Sam is 'smiling' twitter.com/baffledexpert/…

Sam has his dads rhythm. yfrog.us/11j5az

Julia: There's no such thing as the Tooth Fairy. Me: Oh yeah, then who puts money under your pillow? Julia: SANTA!

On duvet, rug, and shag. Everywhere.

Famous last words: nah, it won't make sofie sick. Dogs eat their own shit.

Julia has never in her life seen Hannamatana.

J: Hannamatana is the beautifulest girl in the world. Me: No, you are. J: Noooooh! Hannamatana has sparkles every day!

Big day. Big, big day. Sam's first potty poop. yfrog.com/o0ekfpj

I never want them to grow up. J worries about death. Sam laughs when he toots on my hand. I guess those are compatible. I do both.

I hope the death talk goes as well. She's getting it. Slowly, thank the man in the sky.

God talk went like this: "Who is God?" Me: "A man in the sky. Do you believe in men in the sky?" J: "That's silly"

Had the first 'sex' talk with J recently. It's hard to be 'sex' positive when it's your kid. I'm counting on that parenting paradox.

Sam is crazy about Julia. He does everything she does. Except worse. Today he got a bump on a bump following her on the couch.

Sam is getting smarter, though it will be a miracle if he survives the self-inflicted head injuries. Lately: pronouns. "My get it!".

I caught a crayfish on my first try. J said, " daddy! Put it back, it's part of nature!" Good kid.