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“Piers Morgan is the rancid pus that oozes from the scabs on Satan's backside. He stands as a reminder that we, as a species, have failed.”7:58 AM Dec 12thfrom Tweetie
Methinks you can tell quite a lot about a person from how they speak to bouncers.4:15 PM Dec 11thfrom Twitterrific
In other news, I'm spending circa 1 hour a day atm flicking this MagSafe connector to try and get it to... connect. Productivity: average.8:41 AM Dec 11thfrom Twitterrific
Dear caffe nero, your tragic lack of power points incites me to a deep existential grief that abjures the chocolatiness of this mocha. Fix.10:16 AM Dec 2ndfrom Twitterrific
What card do you get someone who was in a car accident and broke both wrists? “Get well soon” sounds... flippant.8:04 AM Dec 2ndfrom Twitterrific