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azhben

Naps instagr.am/p/LLxv_dAGPJ/ about 6 hours ago via Instagram
robdelaney "Wouldn't mind playin' a little flamenco on your ham harmonica" is a NUCLEAR pickup line, only to be used as a last resort. about 22 hours ago via Tweetbot for iOS Retweeted by azhben and 206 others
Oh, good. #Thunderween in full effect. Guh. about 21 hours ago via Twitter for Android
PhilosophersSay True philosophy invents nothing; it merely establishes and describes what is. ~Victor Cousin #quote about 23 hours ago via www.FamousQuotesAbout.com Retweeted by azhben and 14 others
Puddinstrip "QUIT" isn't in my vocabulary but fortunately "CAN'T" is about 23 hours ago via Facebook Retweeted by azhben and 4 others
BreakingNews Director of National Weather Service steps down after probe finds $43m misappropriated - @msnbc on.msnbc.com/JHlzRe about 23 hours ago via breakingnews.com Retweeted by azhben and 342 others
UNTRESOR We don't get to choose what day we take the biggest poo of our lives, it chooses us. Today, my friends, I was chosen. 4:11 PM May 27th via Twitter for iPad Retweeted by azhben and 14 others
eliyudin Man, I love sex. When you get a fine-lookin lady back to your tent and start rubbin your dude-stump up on her dry desert slot. Hot dog! 2:03 PM May 24th via web Retweeted by azhben and 25 others
MrZachPeterson I put my tie on a plate and asked my wife if she liked thai food. She almost fainted because of how lucky she is to be married to me. 5:53 PM May 27th via Echofon Retweeted by azhben
UNTRESOR You know you're depressed when there's a tornado warning and instead of going to the basement you go lie in your yard. 5:59 PM May 27th via Twitter for iPad Retweeted by azhben and 17 others
MisterBrewster I don't know. Just tell her you wrote a poem for her last night, the moon guiding your every word, and it's back at your place. 6:17 PM May 27th via Twitter for iPhone Retweeted by azhben and 2 others
BobbitoMaxChill Hey Benson, I love you, but if you ever let a guy play a recording of a fork in a garbage disposal for 3 hours again, I will burn you down. 11:45 AM May 27th via web Retweeted by azhben and 1 other
AlisonAgosti The straps on messenger bags are like the Berlin Wall for tits. 12:37 PM May 27th via Twitter for iPhone Retweeted by azhben and 30 others
DesignByIKEA Our MALIN collection is inspired by #design of the 50s-60s, w/different pieces that go well together. bit.ly/Js7Z2L #IKEA #New 3:00 PM May 27th via Social Publisher Retweeted by azhben and 3 others
EmergingTOmaha #elevate is one week from today - 30+ chefs collaborating with 30+ designers on a bridge over I-80 bit.ly/KOdbZA 2:20 PM May 27th via web Retweeted by azhben and 3 others
thecoolhunter Why Outdoor Offices Are a Smart Idea hbr.org/web/slideshows… 7:42 PM May 26th via Twitter for iPad Retweeted by azhben and 37 others
RubyOmahell Now that I know House Hunters is fake I try to figure out the house they've already picked based on their actions and dialogue. 8:03 PM May 26th via TweetCaster for Android Retweeted by azhben
mikeleffingwell Domino's sign says they're the pizza delivery experts. "We've mastered the art of looking up an address & going to that place." 8:10 PM May 26th via web Retweeted by azhben and 53 others
biorhythmist My Dad taught me early on that the rules at a four-way stop are fuck these idiots we're going 5:38 PM May 26th via web Retweeted by azhben and 36 others
WolfpackAlan How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram. 4:35 PM May 24th via Buffer Retweeted by azhben and 4862 others