awomansrules
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In the middle ages, they didn't have the technology for opaque fabric or missionary sex.
11:34 AM Apr 21st, 2011
via Twitter for iPhone
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RT @: Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi on trial for abuse of power. In his defense, Berlusconi argued the power really wanted it.
7:07 AM Feb 15th, 2011
via TweetDeck
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A woman ought never to expose herself to a ranger.
9:05 AM Nov 10th, 2010
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@ Thanks for the RT, Brooklyn! If you have it in your heart, how about throwing me a ? I'm lonelier than betty freidan.
3:19 PM Oct 22nd, 2010
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in reply to HyperComboKO
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@ Good Christian Music. If you're listening to anything else, your eardrums are going to hell.
8:50 AM Oct 22nd, 2010
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is a terrible idea. what if a word is mistaken for an acronym?
8:46 AM Oct 22nd, 2010
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Bob Guccione died today. Ladies, you have 24 hours to plan your Caligula themed party. After that, you're back to looking like a pervert.
10:30 PM Oct 20th, 2010
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RT @: Colonel admits to stealing girls panties, wearing them and masturbating. Now we know where all those single socks went.
8:30 AM Oct 19th, 2010
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Colonel admits to stealing girls panties, wearing them and masturbating. Now we know where all those single socks went.
8:14 AM Oct 19th, 2010
via Tweet Button
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If you think your boyfriend spends too much time watching sports, try folding your arms and shaking your head while smiling at him.
11:41 AM Oct 15th, 2010
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Thrifty Family Tip! Breakfast Cereals are expensive. You can save money every morning by giving away your children.
4:15 PM Oct 13th, 2010
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Don't ever watch Thirty Three Miners, One Cup.
1:38 PM Oct 13th, 2010
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The are taking on the . It always saddens me when oppressed minorities feel like they have to fight each other.
11:08 AM Oct 10th, 2010
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A vagina is a secret one should only reveal to complete strangers.
6:35 PM Oct 8th, 2010
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Unless your man is an olive farmer, never accept an invitation to the olive garden. Or, especially if he is an olive farmer.
4:39 PM Oct 7th, 2010
via Twitter for iPhone
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Dress to Regress! Before that big date, turn around in front of the mirror. The first thing you see when you stop - cover it up, whore.
1:34 PM Oct 4th, 2010
via web
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A swimming pool is a great place to work on your tan. To protect against sun damage, make sure you're wearing the highest heels you own.
4:07 PM Oct 3rd, 2010
via Twitter for iPhone
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You wear black to minimize your hips and waistline, but have you tried wearing it to cover up that unsightly face? Dress To Regress!
9:41 AM Oct 1st, 2010
via Twitter for iPhone
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For optimal hygiene, please remember to discard everything you own after six months.
9:34 AM Oct 1st, 2010
via Twitter for iPhone
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On a first date, make sure he thinks you're exciting and mysterious: try murdering the waiter and leaving him a clue.
12:23 PM Sep 30th, 2010
via Twitter for iPhone
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