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avphibes

  1. Okay, I can now say FROM ACTUAL LIFE EXPERIENCE, that when life hands you a lemon, a margarita is a pretty good idea. about 4 hours ago from Tweetie
  2. @MrBigFists thanks for the vote of confidence! about 4 hours ago from Tweetie in reply to MrBigFists
  3. Life has literally handed me a lemon and I'm at a loss about what to do with it. http://yfrog.com/3l8dzsj about 4 hours ago from Tweetie
  4. My top albums of the 00's http://tinyurl.com/yemb2db about 12 hours ago from web
  5. The 00's: the decade when it finally became possible to watch videos of cats riding on roombas on my telephone. about 15 hours ago from Tweetie
  6. This is a good way to get me to punch you in the junk. http://yfrog.com/4ia4xhj 5:40 PM Dec 21st from Tweetie
  7. I understand that the kids want to be "hip" and all, but I think calling Auschwitz "the 'schwitz" is taking it too far. 1:47 PM Dec 20th from Tweetie
  8. Me and @theladyaye were talking about snow, which turned to Snow, and we're drunk enough that it has lead us to jamming to "Informer." 9:25 PM Dec 18th from Tweetie
  9. Bloody scratch marks on my legs from itchy, dry skin! The joys of winter! 8:38 AM Dec 18th from Tweetie
  10. @TKmadden brilliant! 9:50 PM Dec 17th from Tweetie in reply to TKmadden
  11. Thought of the great joke "who do I gotta blow to get a mouthful of semen around here?" but it's kinda too blue for me. Feel free to steal. 4:29 PM Dec 17th from Tweetie
  12. THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID! RT @danieljuk Could possibly have 8 inches by this time tomorrow! ;) 9:41 AM Dec 17th from Tweetie
  13. Sometimes I ask my friends how they've been and they say things like this: "hungover every day, smelling like vagina, its the jam." 5:42 PM Dec 16th from web
  14. If "JK" stands for "just kidding" then "JFK" should stand for "just fucking kidding." 10:24 AM Dec 16th from Tweetie
  15. Before Twitter, there was, like, every other social media/networking site ever. Remember livejournal? Jeez. I feel old. #lifebeforetwitter 9:43 AM Dec 16th from Tweetie
  16. Going to 2nd ave. Deli to eat Jew Fewd. 3:09 PM Dec 15th from Tweetie
  17. I'll try anything once. Except having sex with you. And poison. 10:41 AM Dec 15th from Tweetie
  18. @RichardBlais love the hat. 10:32 AM Dec 15th from Tweetie in reply to RichardBlais
  19. It's sad when the clock says 10:30am and I think "I guess I'll get up early today." JK, it's not sad. It's awesome. 7:53 AM Dec 14th from Tweetie
  20. Don't shoot the messenger, but putting a thin line of black around your entire eye conveys all the class of a pregnant teen meth addict. 9:54 PM Dec 13th from Tweetie