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averymonsen

Nobody puts baby in the coroner. about 5 hours ago via Twitter for iPhone
Did you know a marriage isn't legally recognized until the choreographed lip-synch proposal gets 500,000 hits on YouTube? about 7 hours ago via web
Request: a Twitter offshoot that's just @EliTerry, @thejoshpatten and @DarcyCarden. 10:00 AM May 25th via web
It's weird to admit you have a "type" but mine is definitely "girls with Netflix accounts that I secretly use, long after we break up." 7:51 AM May 25th via web
The results are in! Wednesday at 11:13 is officially the saddest time to eat a frozen burrito! Nice work, everyone! 8:13 PM May 23rd via web
Alien vs. Predator vs. Kramer vs. Kramer. THAT'S a movie. 12:05 PM May 22nd via Twitter for iPhone
Mario LoPEZ Dispenser. URBAN OUTFITTERS, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? 2:42 PM May 20th via web
Comedy equals tragedy plus time plus farts. 10:28 AM May 20th via Twitter for iPhone
The problem with naps: sometimes you wake up refreshed, but sometimes you wake up inexplicably covered in a stranger's blood. 3:54 PM May 19th via web
Trying to join this Mexican gang, but I'm having trouble with the ese question. 3:25 PM May 19th via web
TheMoonShow @Williamsburg411 The Moon 5/15 at @UnionPool w/ @Davidiscope @KurtBraunohler @AveryMonsen @TheDefibulators & @BridgidRy bit.ly/J540XR 11:46 AM May 14th via web Retweeted by averymonsen
Some people say it's better to stretch before exercising. Some say stretch after. Let's all just agree that I'm insecure about my body. 11:30 AM May 10th via web
CollegeHumorRSS Video: Shirtless Recorder Guy Covers Boyz II Men dlvr.it/1Ww2r7 10:54 AM May 5th via dlvr.it Retweeted by averymonsen
I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse! (I'm only a little hungry. I just wanted you to know that I own a horse whose life I do not value.) 1:11 PM May 6th via web
I ruined another song. youtube.com/watch?feature=… 1:15 PM May 5th via web
Sometimes the oil in peanut butter isn't distributed well and it's hard to spread. #WhiteBreadProblems #RelatableHumor #FunAndFunny 12:52 PM May 5th via web
I heard from a very reliable source that Steve Buscemi is just a large ferret that learned to talk. 7:02 AM May 5th via Twitter for iPhone
SECRET TRUTH! If someone says "Catcher in the Rye" is their favorite book, they haven't read a book since high school. SEEEEEEECRET TRUTH! 9:43 AM May 3rd via web
Just emailed peter.gallagher@aol.com. FINGERS CROSSED!!!!!! 8:14 PM May 2nd via web
Just sent back a Netflix DVD. So, y'know, pretty productive day. 8:34 AM May 1st via web

Name Avery Monsen
Location Woodside, Queens, NY
Web http://www.averym...
Bio Author/illustrator of ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD and I FEEL RELATIVELY NEUTRAL ABOUT NEW YORK. Actor at Upright Citizens Brigade NY. Your FUTURE FRIEND.