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austinheller

  1. First day wearing my custom-fitted suit jacket and, of course, I smell like McDonald's, no morning shower, and Southwest Airlines peanuts. 12:17 PM Nov 21st from Twitterrific
  2. Today, a TSA agent proved to me that it is, in fact, possible to rock mutton chops that curve at a 90-degree angle. 10:03 AM Nov 21st from Twitterrific
  3. Okay, Glee. No high school that can't afford a janitor also cannot afford a $40K Yamaha grand and the rights to modern hit pop songs. 4:37 PM Nov 4th from web
  4. This guy just gave a public speech on how to parkour. God, I love college. 1:46 PM Nov 4th from Twitterrific
  5. There's nothing like a shave to make me feel...well, exactly how I was before. But with a really fresh-smelling face. 5:00 PM Aug 3rd from Twitterrific
  6. Sweet jeebus Facebook quizzes are addictive. What TV mom am I? I MUST KNOW 9:05 PM Jul 24th from Twitterrific
  7. Pardon me sir, but could you take your car that has mine utterly blocked in my parking space, and, well, shove it up your ass? 11:54 AM Jul 23rd from Twitterrific
  8. Ghostbusters: the most delicious ending to a disaster movie ever. (@galendw) 10:22 PM Jul 22nd from Twitterrific
  9. I totally got a reply once from @gruber on Twitter. #lameclaimtofame 4:44 PM Jul 21st from Twitterrific
  10. Wait, scratch that. One year since I last wrote something *actually worth reading.* I stand corrected. 9:49 PM Jul 19th from Twitterrific
  11. Oh hey, the 1-year anniversary of leaving my blog to rot is coming up. 9:47 PM Jul 19th from Twitterrific
  12. Congested nose. No allergy medication or tissues in the entire house. Seriously? WORK WITH ME PEOPLE 3:23 PM Jul 19th from Twitterrific
  13. @Aseroff If you mean in a "I just spent the last 12 hours mangling the shit out of HTML, look at me guys, I'm SMURT!" way, I can relate. 7:26 PM Jul 11th from Twitterrific in reply to Aseroff
  14. It's 1AM and I'm wired. Oh, late-night birthday cake, you sonuvabitch. 12:07 AM Jul 11th from Twitterrific
  15. Okay, Honda Boy, if you're gonna be Tool Who Cuts Me Off In Lane Change, don't _also_ be Jackass Going 15 Under The Speed Limit. 9:49 PM Jul 9th from Twitterrific
  16. Humanities 101 midterm, say hello to my proverbial fist. 8:15 PM Jul 5th from Twitterrific
  17. Good news, guys! I learned how to play all of AC/DC's songs on guitar! You know, all two of them. 9:33 PM Jul 2nd from Twitterrific
  18. OH: "Each child in the family has to wear a different-colored shirt? Line 'em up and you would get a Gay Pride flag." 7:02 PM Jul 1st from Twitterrific
  19. 3 GoodTimes Bambino burgers wild fries and a PB Chocolate Crunch spoonbender OH SWEET JEEBUS TIME FOR A NAP 7:00 PM Jul 1st from Twitterrific
  20. Oh, community college computer systems. You never fail to, well, fail me. 1:01 PM Jun 30th from Twitterrific