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hotdogsladies
Happy Mother's Day, moms. Thanks for converting our awkward sexual overtures into exquisite little humans. You're the best.
09:06 AM May 11, 2008
from web
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devant
Lol every time i show up to a big party it's their lowest night of attendance.
12:41 AM May 10, 2008
from txt
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lonelysandwich
When Obama wins, I'll be all like "Told you, jerks." And I'll be all high fivin' everyone and I'll probably have a party and watch some TV.
03:01 PM May 09, 2008
from web
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wxphilly
Today's weather: Partly Cloudy, Hi: 71F, Lo: 51F (Currently Mostly Cloudy, 69F)
10:45 AM May 05, 2008
from im
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scottsimpson
Business Idea: Highbrow massage parlor where patrons can request a Sopranos-style "ambiguous ending."
09:09 AM April 30, 2008
from web
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devant
My girlfriend's method to stop Me from snoring? She wakes me up in the middle of the night and fucks me. Apparently it works.
09:15 AM April 30, 2008
from txt
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fimoculous
Team Audrina.
12:15 PM April 29, 2008
from web
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this_justin
Seriously, fuck Jeremiah Wright.
02:45 PM April 29, 2008
from txt
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beep
How do I spell success? I-N-S-O-M-N-I-A.
07:57 AM April 29, 2008
from twitterrific
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brianshaler
Overheard: "When I close my eyes, all I see is Brian Shaler. Brian Brian Brian."
08:52 PM April 25, 2008
from txt
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topherchris
I'm drunk. A/S/L?
09:52 PM April 25, 2008
from twitterrific
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meangrape
@ashleystar You're making me cry.
09:35 AM April 23, 2008
from mobile web
in reply to ashleystar
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paige
Andrew Lloyd Webber night on Idol. Even the Bush Administration defines that as torture.
01:13 PM April 22, 2008
from web
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scottsimpson
A cologne based on the smell of just-opened CD liner notes? I would wear that cologne.
09:34 PM April 20, 2008
from web
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jimray
So glad that I first saw "Showgirls" tonight and not when it could have possibly impacted my understanding of how the world actually works.
12:27 AM April 20, 2008
from web
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drewolanoff
Twitter. You.Are.Crack.
11:58 PM April 18, 2008
from web
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devant
Ashley twitters a lot more than i do
12:00 PM April 17, 2008
from txt
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strutting
Jack Spade has amazing customer service. They're repairing the zipper on my murse promptly and at no cost. They responded quickly, too.
11:14 PM April 16, 2008
from twitterrific
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magnetbox
Much like an oncoming hurricane, it's probably a good idea to go stock up on Doritos now before 4/20 hits.
10:23 AM April 16, 2008
from web
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fimoculous
@fimoculous Get a fucking life.
09:13 AM April 15, 2008
from web
in reply to fimoculous
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