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asetofworks

  1. They say everything's BIGGER in Texas! *unveils thin, pendulous penis, realizes he's in neighboring Louisiana* 2:53 PM May 24th via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  2. *Marriage* lol smh hmu 8:04 AM May 24th via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  3. I ate out a Mexican chick & I've been shitting for 2 days straight. 7:23 PM May 22nd via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  4. It's like the first time you tell your fat sister what a fucking hog she is - bit.ly/IKZ5sA 3:55 PM May 22nd via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  5. First dates are so reluctant to meet me in the Everglades, but I'm really a great guy who just wants to make a necklace from their teeth. 3:19 PM May 21st via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  6. @screenslags Yay there dude! You got an email? 5:31 PM May 17th via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  7. "The Penultimate Run" - Jason Statham stars as an ex-criminal who doesn't have to do ONE LAST JOB, but TWO LAST JOBS. This is the first job. 5:00 PM May 15th via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  8. This retard at work wished me a Happy Mother's Day. I should show him my cock & watch his fucking head blow to kingdom come. 6:45 PM May 13th via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  9. Not to be vain, but I excel at the "Give me a sec" pinky-wave-while-talking-on-a-cell. 1:42 PM May 13th via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  10. I'm the Twitter user in the Taco Bell Doritos Locos commercial who said they're "so bomb". 7:13 AM May 10th via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  11. I can't wait till Boscovs unveils Puerto Rican designer Carlos Lopez's summer line of yackets. 1:42 PM May 7th via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  12. "The Thin Middle Class Line" - Terrence Malick's new movie about white high school grads who join the Coast Guard Reserves 5:40 PM May 2nd via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  13. I'm the guy who fucks up all the communal pizza to get to the big slices that aren't touching. 6:35 PM May 1st via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  14. Sometimes the best way to deal with an overbearing father is to wait for him to come home from the gym & put a hole in his chest w/ a rifle. 5:27 PM Apr 30th via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  15. Saw TSA tear the soles off @azizansari's 1984 adidas at Austin Airport. Reluctance to board melted away. 11:35 PM Apr 26th via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  16. I'm confident no one notices me peeling my shirt off my fat stomach & tits when I walk into the wind. 6:47 PM Apr 21st via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  17. "Happy 4/20, bro" - A dimwitted goon I beat the shit out of & made eat a broken Wild Turkey bottle 5:18 PM Apr 20th via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  18. Call me old fashioned, but I prefer to bank at a place where everyone has blond hair & blue eyes like me, @WellsFargo. 8:47 PM Apr 19th via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  19. I brought my new pet Mjolnir home & it decimated my entire family. 7:11 PM Apr 18th via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  20. I'm so not a fag that when they show that crooked black dick in Hall Pass I'm comfortable jacking-off & cumming all over the place. 6:21 PM Apr 16th via Twitter for BlackBerry®
  • Name A Set of Works
  • Location Bayside High School
  • Web http://www.asetof...
  • Bio It's Scumbag Humor. Get a massive hard-on for our movie The Ultimate Ultimate. #Yaaaaysh #Eeeeww
283 Following 369 Followers 15 Listed
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