angrysantaelf
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Each iPad cost us $2.99 to make this year, which means either Apple wildly overcharges or we just sent out drawings.
12:59 PM Dec 27th, 2011
via Twitter for BlackBerry®
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When returning a gift we elves made for you, make sure to follow the instructions on our site labeled "Go to Hell and Die."
11:50 AM Dec 26th, 2011
via Twitter for BlackBerry®
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Dec 26 is when we have our post-Xmas brunch, where Santa looks at the bill and says, "That'll be 40 bucks per elf. I'll chip in a 5% tip."
8:23 AM Dec 26th, 2011
via Twitter for BlackBerry®
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Happy Boxing Day! In celebration we hid another gift in your house. It's rapidly thawing meat so find it soon.
7:24 AM Dec 26th, 2011
via Twitter for BlackBerry®
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Santa just said, "Here's next year's hot toy! Monster High Juvie!" Then he showed us a Vampira doll with loaded handgun and 3 priors.
7:20 PM Dec 25th, 2011
via web
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Spending day cleaning workshop, reviewing deliveries and locating the families of all the kids who hid in Santa's sleigh.
4:58 PM Dec 25th, 2011
via Twitter for BlackBerry®
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Whenever Santa accidentally skips a house he plants evidence there so he can say they were naughty.
2:47 PM Dec 25th, 2011
via Twitter for BlackBerry®
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Santa's doing post-delivery interviews saying, "I couldn't have done it without those short guys. What do you call them? Oompa Loompas."
2:26 PM Dec 25th, 2011
via Twitter for BlackBerry®
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Santa's Post-Delivery Speech to the Elves:
12:27 PM Dec 25th, 2011
via web
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Santa arrived home in someone's Smart car, meaning we have no idea where he left the sleigh.
12:21 PM Dec 25th, 2011
via Twitter for BlackBerry®
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Santa is still asleep, elves are still drunk and reindeer are still flying as far away as possible.
11:02 AM Dec 25th, 2011
via Twitter for BlackBerry®
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I wish you all the very merriest of Christmases! More tomorrow on the aftermath and our demands for Boxing Day off! Enjoy!
11:35 PM Dec 24th, 2011
via web
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Well, Santa will be heading home soon to have his customary celebratory crate of brandy. Thank you for following along on our ride!
11:34 PM Dec 24th, 2011
via web
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Next is Los Angeles, where Santa will hand out scripts instead of toys, trying to get kids to invest in his horror movie "Claustrophobia."
11:34 PM Dec 24th, 2011
via web
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Santa's in San Francisco, taking forever to get down Lombard Street.
11:28 PM Dec 24th, 2011
via web
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Santa now in Las Vegas, where gambling is less a problem than Santa having to see every single damn Cirque du Soleil show there.
11:21 PM Dec 24th, 2011
via web
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Next stop is Portland, Oregon, where Santa wants to bike through despite the fact that would put us back at least a good three weeks.
11:11 PM Dec 24th, 2011
via web
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Entering Seattle with more "Screaming Trees" CDs than anyone there wants for a gift.
10:57 PM Dec 24th, 2011
via web
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Now Santa's just leisurely wandering around Vancouver, reliving scenes from "X-Files" episodes.
10:54 PM Dec 24th, 2011
via web
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Why is Santa back in Canada yet again?! Did he decide to become a Men Without Hats tour groupie?
10:44 PM Dec 24th, 2011
via web
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- Name FrancescoMarciuliano
- Location North Pole
- Bio One of the North Pole 99% (Santa is the 1%)
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