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andyerikson

  1. Why are there stitch marks on zombies? Who's giving them medical attention? 12:50 PM May 23rd via Buffer
  2. Sometimes my jokes feel like something read during a filibuster. 12:50 PM May 22nd via Buffer
  3. Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide. 11:37 PM May 21st via Favstar.FM
  4. Why did the chicken go into the wormhole? Because we test wormholes on chickens. 6:18 PM May 21st via Favstar.FM
  5. Fact: Japan's flag is a closeup of a clowns face. 5:07 PM May 21st via Buffer
  6. Not many lumberjacks wearing polkadot shirts these days. 3:30 PM May 21st via Buffer
  7. "Good eye" -What I say to a cyclops who didn't swing at a bad pitch. 12:50 PM May 21st via Buffer
  8. @ChuckleDeeDum the CONvergence sci-fi convention is spectacular! Can't wait for this year. I think I get to perform on the main stage :) 7:31 PM May 20th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to ChuckleDeeDum
  9. Anybody else going to Bella Music fest next weekend? Super excited! Let's all pretend we're fairies and dance around! 7:18 PM May 20th via Twitter for iPhone
  10. @Mathachusetts that was the coolest ever! I might even talk about it in stage some day. Hahah. Thanks so much! 7:08 PM May 20th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to Mathachusetts
  11. #ff @aj_finney! He's just like Dairy queen: Hot tweets, and cool treats.! 4:38 PM May 18th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to aj_finney
  12. I dream of an America where you can order a Bud Light and get low calorie weed. 2:06 PM May 18th via Twitter for iPhone
  13. ME: "Is this soap?" GRANDMA: "Soap's in the bathroom." ME: "Did I just wash my hands with yogurt?" GRANDMA: "You probably did." 12:54 PM May 18th via Twitter for iPhone
  14. #FF The second and third funniest tweeters in Minnesota! @ThePatrickBauer @braincum 11:50 AM May 18th via Twitter for iPhone in reply to ThePatrickBauer