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androo

  1. Sometimes it's like I'm reading the obituaries section - for jokes.about 12 hours ago from Tweetie
  2. Dear housemate's parents, I'm sorry I had to murder your child for incessantly singing to himself. [Kissy winky face]about 12 hours ago from Tweetie
  3. '"The ringer cannot look empty." - Walter Sobchakabout 12 hours ago from Tweetie
  4. I was the FIRST Starfighter.about 21 hours ago from web
  5. Kozyndan on Carnaby Street. http://twitpic.com/a9qx94:02 PM Jul 13th from Tweetie
  6. The other night, my juxtaposition and I were talking about girlfriend.3:39 PM Jul 13th from Birdhouse
  7. @James_Waters What is 'standards'?3:05 PM Jul 13th from Tweetie in reply to James_Waters
  8. ...or spell properly.3:00 PM Jul 13th from Tweetie
  9. Instead of paying actual money for a yogurt with bacteria in it...why not just like a subway seat FOR FREE!2:42 PM Jul 13th from Tweetie
  10. I am not a soulless joke machine. [I've been programmed to say that]11:02 AM Jul 13th from Tweetie
  11. In the future, when aliens find the ruins of Epcot Center they're going to laugh their 2 dicks off.8:21 AM Jul 13th from Tweetie
  12. I bet Mattress Testers don't hate Mondays.3:11 AM Jul 13th from Tweetie
  13. "Mister!" He said with a sawdusty sneeze, "I am the Lorax. I speak for...deez nuUtz."11:12 AM Jul 12th from Tweetie
  14. @James_Waters Can I have one those chocolates?2:22 AM Jul 12th from Tweetie in reply to James_Waters
  15. Protip: Never introduce your special ladyfriend as your 'Snot pocket'4:52 PM Jul 11th from Tweetie
  16. Got home just in time to save one of my fish from certain death. Now I know how God feels...you know, if he actually intervened.7:10 PM Jul 10th from Tweetie
  17. @jhuitz she'd Kung Fu you if she saw that6:15 PM Jul 10th from Tweetie in reply to jhuitz
  18. My drunkeness is so big it won't return Spielberg's calls.5:35 PM Jul 10th from Tweetie
  19. I told you so http://twitpic.com/9xyoc4:58 PM Jul 10th from Tweetie
  20. Psh. Quitting smoking is easy. I've done it hundreds of times.4:20 PM Jul 10th from Tweetie
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