andrewwatt
- Just got a piece of mail addressed to my girlfriend's father, but at my address. I don't like where this is headed, sir, not one bit.12:26 PM Jul 3rd from Birdhouse
- Based on the time estimate, I think this Migration Assistant transfers files by attaching them to actual migrating birds.8:00 PM Jul 2nd from Birdhouse
- @rsduell I recommend Sinatra.7:20 PM Jun 25th from web in reply to rsduell
- Only a month left to go, and I haven't even *started* my Christmas in July shopping.3:14 PM Jun 25th from web
- I just won a free Drobo with this video: http://bit.ly/jIfv Never underestimate the power of fake mustaches. ;-{)6:50 PM Jun 18th from web
- Have decided to change the way I sign my name. Any 7th-grade girls out there with advice on how to make a cool "A"?12:31 PM Jun 16th from web
- @hartlogan Don't you mean "Star$"? I read $bucks as "Buckbucks".1:06 PM Jun 13th from web in reply to hartlogan
- "Sir, would you like your fake mustache in a bag?" "No thanks, I'll just wear it." I love shopping at the party store.11:57 AM Jun 12th from web
- Zatoichi, the blind swordsman, always overshadowed Zatoroku, the swordsman who just had his eyes dilated at the optometrist.3:52 PM May 29th from web
- Dear AT&T Marketing: Nice try, but your new yellow pages app is "downloads of fun" in the same way that the DMV is "parking lots of fun".7:07 PM May 28th from web
- Poppin' & Tartin'12:33 PM May 26th from web
- Took a while, but I finally hit Spambox 10000.6:15 PM May 24th from web
- Her: ♫ Puff the Magic Dragon lived by the sea... ♪
Me: And?
Her: ♪ ...somebody waits for you, kiss her once for me? ♫8:17 PM May 21st from web
- The TSA would be a lot more popular if they classified babies as liquids.5:54 PM May 20th from Birdhouse
- I hate weddings, because I always forget people's names, people's faces, and the fact that I hate weddings.2:10 PM May 18th from Birdhouse
- Dunno what I did Fri. night but I woke up with the lyrics to "How Can We Be Lovers If We Can't Be Friends" on my phone, so I know I had fun.5:12 PM May 17th from Birdhouse
- @hartlogan Yup, thanks though.4:51 PM May 17th from NatsuLiphone in reply to hartlogan
- My mom is great. Look at how graciously she ignored the fact that the card I gave her was faintly geared towards daughters.5:17 PM May 10th from web
- #hey #why #don't #you #just #tag #every #goddamn #word #inline #it's #not #like #it #makes #it #harder #to #read #or #anything3:02 PM May 2nd from web
- I once had a dominatrix who was also in IT. My safe word had to be at least 8 characters, preferably with mixed case, numbers & punctuation.1:26 PM Apr 30th from Birdhouse
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