andrewkiraly
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Thanksgiving meal prep is gonna be totally stress-free tomorrow. So glad I planned ahead and cooked the turkey last week.
about 1 hour ago
from UberTwitter
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*pointing at your Sunday with my fork* You gonna finish that?
2:14 PM Nov 22nd
from UberTwitter
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I walked back to my truck and thought someone had hit it. But then I realized I was just seeing how ugly it is from a new angle.
5:34 PM Nov 20th
from UberTwitter
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I probably wouldn't mind this never-ending day if it were taking the form of a Twizzler.
8:12 PM Nov 17th
from web
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@ Thanks! Did I sound like the hungover motard I am? BREAKING NEWS: I also now own a hotel-casino!!!!! @
6:02 PM Nov 17th
from web
in reply to AlexThePhotog
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Okay. One more breakfast of Butterfingers and I close out another Leftover Halloween Candy Season.
8:42 AM Nov 17th
from UberTwitter
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Hello, Sunday. I'm hugging you with such loving ferocity you're saying with a worried edge in your voice, "Andrewww...you're...hurting me."
1:24 PM Nov 15th
from web
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Happy Friday the 13th. Off to celebrate by being brutally murdered while having sex with a camp counselor. Who's in?
2:51 PM Nov 13th
from web
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Happy 40th, Big Bird. If anyone's earned the right to suddenly start driving a sports car and dating a stripper half your age, it's you.
11:44 AM Nov 11th
from UberTwitter
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OKKAY. OFFICIALLY A LONG LATE NIGHT AT OFICE. CURRNTLY TYPING WTIH BLOODY STUMPS FRMERLY KNOWN AAS HANDS AS U MAY HAVE GUESSD.
9:24 PM Nov 10th
from web
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The new paranoid-delusional-&-batshit-crazy Sarah Palin makes me miss the old grossly-narcissistic-&-perniciously-ignorant Sarah Palin.
6:53 PM Nov 10th
from web
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I want a dwarf mistress, just so I can call her "my little humpling."
2:56 PM Nov 10th
from UberTwitter
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Today's beautiful weather is a wonderful surprise. Usually November in Vegas means it's snowing flakes of screaming blood.
11:35 AM Nov 6th
from TwitterBerry
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Is it too early to hang up my decorative Thanksgiving smallpox blankets?
3:14 PM Nov 3rd
from TwitterBerry
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I shouldn't have to feel around in the dark for my lunch. This "fall back" time-change shit just isn't right.
12:27 PM Nov 3rd
from TwitterBerry
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OK, I'm officially over this gets-dark-at-three-in-the-afternoon bullshit. TONIGHT I WILL PUNCH THE NIGHT IN ITS PRESUMING-ASS NIGHT FACE.
3:26 PM Nov 2nd
from TwitterBerry
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Just calculated I have to run 317 miles today if I want to burn off last night's 24,000-calorie feast of Nerds, Gummi Bears and Pixie Stix.
10:22 AM Nov 1st
from TwitterBerry
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I got 17 pounds of Tootsie Pops and a porch covered in fake cobwebs. Bring it on, you little costumed rugrat motherfuckers. Bring. It. On.
5:14 PM Oct 31st
from TwitterBerry
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Welllllll then. That's 14 fewer fun-size Milky Ways for trick-or-treaters tonight.
12:09 PM Oct 31st
from TwitterBerry
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Now I get why Nevada Day and Halloween fall on the same day: Nevada is shaped just like a jagged, molar-cracking shard of Jolly Rancher.
9:40 AM Oct 31st
from TwitterBerry
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- Name Andrew Kiraly
- Location Las Vegas
- Web http://www.andrew...
- Bio This one-line ... bio ... can't ... contain ... me!
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