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AndrewBurnette

  1. MRI machines sound like my worst 8-bit video game glitch nightmares.
  2. You can lead more flies to vinegar with honey.
  3. Some people worship the ground I walk on, but it doesn't have anything to do with me. They're ground worshippers.
  4. Here's my impression of your mother tweeting.
  5. @roman_writer it was a real messy burrito euphemism. Staff was oaken.
  6. I thought this lady was old but I had no idea until she started paying her bus fare in half-cent coins.
  7. @roman_writer Follow me as I live tweet from the fast-food drive-thru.
  8. I like to tweet in clusters I call cluster headaches.
  9. If someone had yelled fire in that theater Abraham Lincoln might still be alive today.
  10. Train horns do it all night long.
  11. People in sandals. Yeesh!
  12. @MarthaKelly3 I'm not as stylin', just sitting here with a poodle and sleeve of saltines.
  13. A major shout out to the spirit of Ron Shock, and all he stood for. Love & respect.
  14. This insomnia is starting to keep me up at night.
  15. It's getting really tough putting on my pants one leg at a time just to satisfy all of you.