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AndrewBurnette

  1. MRI machines sound like my worst 8-bit video game glitch nightmares. about 3 hours ago via Twitter for Android
  2. You can lead more flies to vinegar with honey. 2:15 AM May 28th via Twitter for Android
  3. Some people worship the ground I walk on, but it doesn't have anything to do with me. They're ground worshippers. 2:14 AM May 28th via Twitter for Android
  4. Here's my impression of your mother tweeting. 11:23 PM May 25th via web
  5. @roman_writer it was a real messy burrito euphemism. Staff was oaken. 5:29 AM May 23rd via Twitter for Android in reply to roman_writer
  6. I thought this lady was old but I had no idea until she started paying her bus fare in half-cent coins. 11:03 AM May 22nd via Twitter for Android
  7. @roman_writer Follow me as I live tweet from the fast-food drive-thru. 9:06 PM May 21st via Twitter for Android in reply to roman_writer
  8. I like to tweet in clusters I call cluster headaches. 1:56 AM May 20th via web
  9. If someone had yelled fire in that theater Abraham Lincoln might still be alive today. 1:55 AM May 20th via web
  10. Train horns do it all night long. 1:47 AM May 20th via web
  11. People in sandals. Yeesh! 1:42 AM May 20th via web
  12. @MarthaKelly3 I'm not as stylin', just sitting here with a poodle and sleeve of saltines. 12:59 AM May 19th via Twitter for Android in reply to MarthaKelly3
  13. A major shout out to the spirit of Ron Shock, and all he stood for. Love & respect. 3:02 AM May 18th via Twitter for Android
  14. This insomnia is starting to keep me up at night. 2:53 AM May 17th via Twitter for Android
  15. It's getting really tough putting on my pants one leg at a time just to satisfy all of you. 11:33 PM May 16th via web