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amyschumer

  1. about to fly aer lingus, i hope i get some 3:35 PM Nov 30th from mobile web
  2. leaving h.s. reunion. just as i suspected im the best 9:27 PM Nov 28th from mobile web
  3. dad joke alert; on my way to my 10 year high school reunion. I hope the party doesnt last that long. 5 years maybe 3:14 PM Nov 28th from mobile web
  4. My boyfriend said dating me is like having a monogomous whore, HEY Whoa whoa! monogomous? 2:36 PM Nov 28th from mobile web
  5. for stalkers, it's always "follow friday" 9:53 AM Nov 28th from web
  6. Today's the perfect day to tell your crush at work you want to show him your "Mayflower" 5:49 AM Nov 26th from web
  7. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EO4Tub8HPnk hope you like dv 9:57 AM Nov 25th from web
  8. Guy says he's going to drop the cosby kids off in the water= Racist. if he says he's going to drop the obamas off in the reflecting pool=yay 9:55 AM Nov 25th from web
  9. "Plymouth Rock landed on us" ants 5:46 AM Nov 25th from web
  10. If I were a robot I'd want to be called Emoticon. My superpower is reading peoples emotions if they use me. 5:02 AM Nov 24th from web
  11. @brandonjanssen I know they cut it out. Hey guys if we have different feelings about politics that's okay. You can always just unfollow. 4:53 AM Nov 24th from web in reply to brandonjanssen
  12. Watch me call Glenn Beck a glorified date rapist tonight on Joy Behar's show on HLN at 9pm. I'm on with Bradley Whitford! 2:27 PM Nov 23rd from web
  13. best way out of a conversation with me; tell me u watch 2 and a half men. im out 10:53 AM Nov 23rd from mobile web
  14. im on joy behars show tonight, no ironically 10:25 AM Nov 23rd from mobile web
  15. There is a goddamed bird in the airport, everyone else seems okay with it, i feel like im in jumanji 7:30 AM Nov 22nd from web
  16. @ChelseaVPeretti When did you and Andrea film that? 7:17 AM Nov 22nd from web in reply to ChelseaVPeretti
  17. i was just diagnosed with SSD (seasonal slut disorder) during winter months twice a week i need to sit under a sun lamp and f a stranger 9:08 AM Nov 21st from mobile web
  18. For months my boyfriend was asking me to get a brazilian, that's how i met Rico http://jdlong.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/roblyinginsand.jpg 12:32 PM Nov 20th from web
  19. poolside in atlanta people keep tryin to throw some d's on a bitch but I can only afford the batteries 10:30 AM Nov 20th from mobile web
  20. @timandrews1005 She wants too! 5:23 AM Nov 20th from web in reply to timandrews1005