amyderby
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@ Mine goes: "I was once a bankruptcy paralegal." "Can you give me some advice about my divorce?" "Um.. Hope your wife wins?"
about 6 hours ago
from Tweetie
in reply to joshuamking
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@ @ There's now an app to scan prices with your iphone at the market. This seems silly for a few reasons.
about 7 hours ago
from Tweetie
in reply to Deep_Friar
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@ GF is buying movies on Amazon. Asked if I wanna see "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People". Sounds like a Twitter movie, no?
about 21 hours ago
from web
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@ Perhaps we've finally stumbled on a solid way to measure twitfluence: how many followers steal your expletive phrases of choice.
about 21 hours ago
from web
in reply to Deep_Friar
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@ And I stole "Good Lord" from @ after @ started following. Seems more polite than "Jesus Fucking Christ".
about 21 hours ago
from web
in reply to Deep_Friar
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@ @ @ @ Yall're cracking me up. I am running away now. Far far away. (Please alert the word police.)
3:44 PM Nov 13th
from Tweetie
in reply to bambooforest
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@ @ Shall we co-author Dumbassery for Dummies? We have plenty of case studies available.
2:49 PM Nov 13th
from Tweetie
in reply to Deep_Friar
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@ Maybe it's time to start selling an ebook. $499, a $78,000 value. It can be blank pages, long as you have an affiliate program.
2:40 PM Nov 13th
from Tweetie
in reply to Deep_Friar
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"Big Numbers and No Influence" by @ who knows how to work in a Peanuts reference
7:34 AM Nov 13th
from Tweetie
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@ Does Amway still have that all-in-one liquid soap that claims to clean your dishes and your toilet? I'll take two please.
7:11 AM Nov 13th
from Tweetie
in reply to btannebaum
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@ Yes, we are on the same page.
9:00 PM Nov 12th
from web
in reply to bsajdak
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@ To torture us? Shel in Chicago:
8:57 PM Nov 12th
from web
in reply to 1938media
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@ Shel is coming to Chicago. Can I borrow the puppet?
7:56 PM Nov 12th
from Tweetie
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@ You win a rare moment of silence. :-) PS., I'm donating my comment to @ who is funnier than I am today.
2:41 PM Nov 12th
from Tweetie
in reply to constructionlaw
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For once, I have no comment. RT @: Jury Finds Florida Man Was Not "Too Fat to Kill" (via @)
11:30 AM Nov 12th
from Tweetie
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@ Aaarrrggghhh!!! Don't even get me started on that one, Brian.
11:25 AM Nov 12th
from Tweetie
in reply to bsajdak
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@ Please print it off and autograph, then have it scanned and emailed to me, so I can print it out to hang on my wall.
3:46 AM Nov 12th
from Tweetie
in reply to btannebaum
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@ Ugh! So what all has to be done to repair everything?
3:44 AM Nov 12th
from Tweetie
in reply to Deep_Friar
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@ Though I prefer black to yellow, I don't like black. Can I still be in the melancholy gang if I wear, say, earth tones?
3:40 AM Nov 12th
from Tweetie
in reply to Neilochka
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@ You're into guys with backpacks too? This could complicate things.
3:20 AM Nov 12th
from Tweetie
in reply to RickHorowitz
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- Name Amy Derby
- Location Chicago
- Web http://amyderby.org
- Bio Legal assistant, freelance writer, concerned consumer. Addicted to Scrabble. Enjoys long walks to Starbucks. Seventy-eight percent sarcasm.
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