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amyderby

  1. @joshuamking Mine goes: "I was once a bankruptcy paralegal." "Can you give me some advice about my divorce?" "Um.. Hope your wife wins?"
  2. @Deep_Friar @brettlegree There's now an app to scan prices with your iphone at the market. This seems silly for a few reasons.
  3. @Deep_Friar GF is buying movies on Amazon. Asked if I wanna see "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People". Sounds like a Twitter movie, no?
  4. @Deep_Friar Perhaps we've finally stumbled on a solid way to measure twitfluence: how many followers steal your expletive phrases of choice.
  5. @Deep_Friar And I stole "Good Lord" from @amandachapel after @almightygod started following. Seems more polite than "Jesus Fucking Christ".
  6. @bambooforest @DavinaH @deep_friar @brettlegree Yall're cracking me up. I am running away now. Far far away. (Please alert the word police.)
  7. @Deep_Friar @bambooforest Shall we co-author Dumbassery for Dummies? We have plenty of case studies available.
  8. @Deep_Friar Maybe it's time to start selling an ebook. $499, a $78,000 value. It can be blank pages, long as you have an affiliate program.
  9. "Big Numbers and No Influence" http://bit.ly/3xDhae by @ScottGreenfield who knows how to work in a Peanuts reference
  10. @btannebaum Does Amway still have that all-in-one liquid soap that claims to clean your dishes and your toilet? I'll take two please.
  11. @bsajdak Yes, we are on the same page.
  12. @1938media To torture us? Shel in Chicago: http://is.gd/4TTtn
  13. @1938media Shel is coming to Chicago. Can I borrow the puppet?
  14. @constructionlaw You win a rare moment of silence. :-) PS., I'm donating my comment to @AgriLawyer who is funnier than I am today.
  15. For once, I have no comment. RT @constructionlaw: Jury Finds Florida Man Was Not "Too Fat to Kill" http://su.pr/1XwUwO (via @loweringthebar)
  16. @bsajdak Aaarrrggghhh!!! Don't even get me started on that one, Brian.
  17. @btannebaum Please print it off and autograph, then have it scanned and emailed to me, so I can print it out to hang on my wall.
  18. @Deep_Friar Ugh! So what all has to be done to repair everything?
  19. @Neilochka Though I prefer black to yellow, I don't like black. Can I still be in the melancholy gang if I wear, say, earth tones?
  20. @RickHorowitz You're into guys with backpacks too? This could complicate things.