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amillioncraigs

  1. clint eastwood trying to round up a bunch of badgers in a busy restaurant. #ideasihave 10:36 PM Dec 10th from TweetDeck
  2. If you cant comfortably walk around with a babe sitting on your shoulders for hours at a time, maybe you dont belong here at melrose place 3:07 PM Dec 9th from TweetDeck
  3. Do you still get issued a baggy trenchcoat if you work for the government, or is that over now? 6:21 PM Dec 7th from TweetDeck
  4. Listen 8-year old girl, I didnt spend 10 grand putting you through kid-bike-julliard so you could fall off now and embarrass me 3:18 PM Aug 23rd from TweetDeck
  5. Old British naval tales: come for the boyish adventure, stay for the word "cockswain" 8:25 PM Aug 5th from Tweetie
  6. Happy birthday, you may have the gusset http://yfrog.com/63bidj 2:17 PM Aug 5th from Tweetie
  7. @grahamclark Kennedy vs. Spennedy 11:47 AM Aug 2nd from Tweetie in reply to grahamclark
  8. Just threw Meghan Fox through my bedroom window. In my mind. While I was peeing sitting down. 8:18 PM Aug 1st from Tweetie
  9. By the jugs of Evony! (via @daveshumka) 5:41 PM Jul 30th from Tweetie
  10. Ebony and Ivory http://yfrog.com/5og0zj 2:43 AM Jul 29th from Tweetie
  11. @NoMoreNeil Prince of Thieves 4 : Azim's Vacation 11:36 PM Jul 27th from Tweetie in reply to NoMoreNeil
  12. Lets hear it for all these beautiful fat guys with great tans 6:47 PM Jul 26th from Tweetie
  13. Out front, the bikini babes. Over here, the septic tank. Rootin' tootin' summer. 2:11 PM Jul 26th from Tweetie
  14. @kfon He will one day try to use me to fake his own death, but I will outsmart him an sleep with his wife at their country club. 2:02 PM Jul 25th from Tweetie in reply to kfon
  15. Stuck on the highway halfway to merrit cause my mustang ran out of meth 10:04 PM Jul 24th from Tweetie
  16. Tae Bo will forever be remembered in the lyrics of early 2000s rap music 10:45 PM Jul 23rd from Tweetie
  17. @NoMoreNeil http://regularjoejob.net/9to5er 1:15 PM Jul 23rd from TweetDeck in reply to NoMoreNeil
  18. why were they always parking lamborghini countaches in lightning storms? 3:12 AM Jul 23rd from TweetDeck
  19. My father named all his teeth, so it was extra tough on him when they ground down his fangs 8:19 PM Jul 20th from Tweetie
  20. @daveshumka: mean twitter-dad pitting his sons against each other to challenge them. Twitter's answer to Tom Skerritt. 12:35 PM Jul 16th from Tweetie in reply to daveshumka