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AlteredEgg

  1. Kris Kringle, Santa Claus, and Father Christmas are all saint nicknames.8:02 AM Jul 17th from web
  2. You are listening to radio Chuck Norris. All roundhouse kicks to the head, all the time.7:45 AM Jul 16th from web
  3. When you're lonely at the top, the top doesn't matter.7:55 AM Jul 15th from web
  4. An apple a day keeps the doctor away long enough until you can get yourself a big gun.7:28 AM Jul 14th from web
  5. Is it better to ask for the right thing for the wrong reason or the wrong thing for the right reason?7:53 AM Jul 13th from web
  6. Can you get framed for stealing art?7:31 AM Jul 10th from web
  7. Little Toot is coming out of retirement this fall to take on Thomas for a pay-per-view special.3:33 PM Jul 9th from web
  8. The judge ruled that the rabbit was guilty for not disclosing his narcolepsy problem to the race sponsors.7:38 AM Jul 8th from web
  9. Elvis eventually insured his shoes for ten times their actually value.7:41 AM Jul 2nd from web
  10. The Vietnamese call it a “Yankee horse”.8:31 AM Jun 30th from web
  11. Every ray gun has a name. Usually it's Ronald.7:38 AM Jun 29th from web
  12. Things took a turn for the worse and I got a ticket for not signalling.8:18 AM Jun 26th from web
  13. If you don't understand the evils of genetic modification, remember the story of donuts and bagels.7:49 AM Jun 25th from web
  14. A jolly good fellow will tolerate repetitive songs.9:38 AM Jun 24th from web
  15. The magnifying glass burnt the string, dropping the weight on the see-saw, throwing the cheese onto my Rube Goldburger.7:55 AM Jun 23rd from web
  16. I'd blame my evil twin brother but then he'll just blame one of his evil triplet brothers.7:46 AM Jun 22nd from web
  17. The apple will roll further from the tree if you make a long ramp of overturned leaves.7:53 AM Jun 19th from web
  18. options [op-shuns] n. pl. Bruce Banner getting bit by a werewolf mermaid.7:06 AM Jun 18th from web
  19. First there was "futurism", followed by "retro", then "retro-futurism", and hot the heels of that was "just plain ugly".7:46 AM Jun 17th from web
  20. I just called to say "isle of ewe".7:46 AM Jun 16th from web