alqaeda
- "CIA ended secret program"? I guess that's why the checks have stopped coming. Wait, was I not supposed to say that? http://tr.im/rN4u12:02 PM Jul 10th from Tweetie
- I can never look at this thing without wondering if bacon sandwiches are really as good as they say. http://tr.im/roDj7:31 AM Jul 8th from Tweetie
- Can't reveal identity of our newest recruit yet. As yet, the infidels have no idea what she means by a "higher calling". #sarahpalin9:48 AM Jul 5th from web
- Video of sinister bearded man threatening US with nuclear attack: Scheuer is muscling in on my territory. http://tr.im/qwTu3:17 PM Jul 1st from Tweetie
- Somehow, I wasn't really expecting the Guardian Council to say. "Ooops, our bad. We miscounted." http://tr.im/qd4C1:09 PM Jun 29th from Tweetie
- It won't be long before Fox News starts running my picture with the label "Osama Bin Laden (D)". http://tr.im/pSRN10:14 AM Jun 26th from Tweetie
- "Knights of the Islamic Maghreb" - you must admit, our press & PR office does a good job dignifying murderous thugs. http://tr.im/pHLD4:23 AM Jun 25th from web
- I've never liked democracy: you get in such trouble when you try to fake it. http://tr.im/psVy8:19 AM Jun 23rd from Tweetie
- I need to have a word with Jaysh al-Islam. They have to stop trying to ingratiate themselves with Rush Limbaugh. http://tr.im/oIdW1:47 PM Jun 16th from Tweetie
- If anyone knows these guys, please ask them to send us their resumes. We have some vacancies. http://tr.im/oFH28:02 AM Jun 16th from Tweetie
- When Khamenei talks of "divine assessment", he means just that. All ballots were counted personally by God. #iranelection http://tr.im/oAhi1:47 PM Jun 15th from Tweetie
- "Almost"? http://tr.im/owMY5:07 AM Jun 15th from web
- Claiming responsibility for the #twitpocalypse. Everyone knows 32-bit signed ints were discovered by Al-Intejah, an Arab mathematician.2:03 PM Jun 12th from Tweetie
- Watching #wwdc. Asked Ayman if he was a Mac or a PC, but he just gave me one of those looks and went back to his Quran.10:54 AM Jun 8th from Tweetie
- @pkoebe The Jonas Brothers? What kind of monster do you think I am?11:45 AM Jun 4th from Tweetie in reply to pkoebe
- Obama's visit to the Middle East is getting more attention than my latest tape. I #blamedrewscancer8:33 AM Jun 4th from Tweetie
- Can't yet confirm rumors that a frustrated US general ordered the Failwhale to be flown to Bagram and waterboarded. http://tr.im/njt711:42 AM Jun 3rd from Tweetie
- New tape went well. I miss doing video, but I'm not sure if I like my new look. Am I too old for a fauxhawk and 'tache? http://tr.im/nibN7:56 AM Jun 3rd from Tweetie
- Retirement seems to have mellowed Mr Cheney. Either that or aliens have rewired his brain http://tr.im/ncyX , http://tr.im/n5T412:31 PM Jun 2nd from web
- The social scene is a big part of Al-Qaeda, of course - but dental, medical & 4 weeks annual vacation are important too. http://tr.im/nbgp9:34 AM Jun 2nd from web
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- Name Al-Qaeda
- Location Waziristan, PK
- Bio Working to expel the infidels from the lands of the Faithful, unite Muslims and create a new Islamic caliphate.
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