Profile_bird

Hey there! alqaeda is using Twitter.

Twitter is a free service that lets you keep in touch with people through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing? Join today to start receiving alqaeda's updates.

Already using Twitter
from your phone? Click here.

alqaeda

  1. "CIA ended secret program"? I guess that's why the checks have stopped coming. Wait, was I not supposed to say that? http://tr.im/rN4u
  2. I can never look at this thing without wondering if bacon sandwiches are really as good as they say. http://tr.im/roDj
  3. Can't reveal identity of our newest recruit yet. As yet, the infidels have no idea what she means by a "higher calling". #sarahpalin
  4. Video of sinister bearded man threatening US with nuclear attack: Scheuer is muscling in on my territory. http://tr.im/qwTu
  5. Somehow, I wasn't really expecting the Guardian Council to say. "Ooops, our bad. We miscounted." http://tr.im/qd4C
  6. It won't be long before Fox News starts running my picture with the label "Osama Bin Laden (D)". http://tr.im/pSRN
  7. "Knights of the Islamic Maghreb" - you must admit, our press & PR office does a good job dignifying murderous thugs. http://tr.im/pHLD
  8. I've never liked democracy: you get in such trouble when you try to fake it. http://tr.im/psVy
  9. I need to have a word with Jaysh al-Islam. They have to stop trying to ingratiate themselves with Rush Limbaugh. http://tr.im/oIdW
  10. If anyone knows these guys, please ask them to send us their resumes. We have some vacancies. http://tr.im/oFH2
  11. When Khamenei talks of "divine assessment", he means just that. All ballots were counted personally by God. #iranelection http://tr.im/oAhi
  12. "Almost"? http://tr.im/owMY
  13. Claiming responsibility for the #twitpocalypse. Everyone knows 32-bit signed ints were discovered by Al-Intejah, an Arab mathematician.
  14. Watching #wwdc. Asked Ayman if he was a Mac or a PC, but he just gave me one of those looks and went back to his Quran.
  15. @pkoebe The Jonas Brothers? What kind of monster do you think I am?
  16. Obama's visit to the Middle East is getting more attention than my latest tape. I #blamedrewscancer
  17. Can't yet confirm rumors that a frustrated US general ordered the Failwhale to be flown to Bagram and waterboarded. http://tr.im/njt7
  18. New tape went well. I miss doing video, but I'm not sure if I like my new look. Am I too old for a fauxhawk and 'tache? http://tr.im/nibN
  19. Retirement seems to have mellowed Mr Cheney. Either that or aliens have rewired his brain http://tr.im/ncyX , http://tr.im/n5T4
  20. The social scene is a big part of Al-Qaeda, of course - but dental, medical & 4 weeks annual vacation are important too. http://tr.im/nbgp