AlisonofaGun
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Job website where you make your own security Q&A I put "What's my mothafuckin name?", and "Snoop doggy dogg," as the answers, respectively.
1:23 PM Dec 10th
from web
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Regarding the "reason for the season": Jesus is the reason for Christmas. He didn't invent all of winter.
2:22 PM Dec 9th
from web
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Back from the vet. They don't know what's wrong with Ren. I am having a 72-hour panic attack.
1:32 PM Dec 9th
from web
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Ran out of bubble bath and used Dawn instead. Now I'm clean and so is the tub. Genius!
8:41 AM Dec 7th
from web
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Pandora thought I might like Lump by the Presidents of the USA. How did you know I was still in 8th grade, internet?!
7:19 AM Dec 7th
from web
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"Can you take this call, Alison? She wants to talk to a woman." "Cool! Maybe she wants to talk about her boobs." I'm so fired.
4:14 PM Dec 6th
from web
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I think I'm out of things to do on the internet. Looks like it's bath + book + bowl time!
12:35 PM Dec 6th
from web
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@ Oh man, that's how I feel about @. I guess it's hard being famous on the internet.
12:34 PM Dec 6th
from web
in reply to midwestgrrl
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@ I'm so old, I used to have a Prodigy account before you could pick your own screen name. I was HRMX20C.
7:39 AM Dec 6th
from web
in reply to drewtoothpaste
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Wanna know why Delta customer service is so shitty? They make $9.86/hour. And they have to wear pants.
7:38 AM Dec 6th
from web
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It's just so true.
4:55 PM Dec 5th
from web
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I love being sickeningly sweet to my rude-ass customers. It makes them so mad!
4:49 PM Dec 5th
from web
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Wok On Roll on : Following Nikkie F's advice, I skipped ordering Chinese food from the Wok on Roll. Normally I...
3:10 PM Dec 5th
from Yelp
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Usage gripe of the day: If someone "self-medicates" you don't need to add "himself" afterwards. One self will suffice.
10:08 AM Dec 5th
from web
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RT @: I see that "Snow" is trending on Twitter this morning. In-FO-MAH! Ya-no-sehmehdedduhhh... a licky boom-boom down.
8:00 AM Dec 5th
from web
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Chick-fil-A chicken biscuits should really be sold all day. When I'm hungover I'm not about to leave the house before 10 am, Truett!
7:18 AM Dec 5th
from web
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No offense to retards, but this... is retarded.
5:55 PM Dec 4th
from web
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@ Sorry just saw you said "of what" and I assume you mean, "of what are you terrified?" and my answer is "Everything."
4:58 PM Dec 4th
from web
in reply to AlwaysPantsless
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I love mommy blogs. Best birth control EVER. Well, second to waiting tables in a family-friendly restaurant.
4:56 PM Dec 4th
from web
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From the I Have Lived in Atlanta Too Long files: My first thought when reading this headline: was, "Ask them WHAT?"
1:40 PM Dec 4th
from web
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- Name Alison Gootee
- Location ATL
- Bio If you need 'em I got crazy prophylactics.
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